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2026-03-01 Syria-Lebanon-Iran

Al Mayadeen: Iran's Supreme Leader Khamenei commands the battle from the operations room UPDATE: Big Turban toes up

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Posted by badanov 2026-03-01 00:00|| E-Mail|| Front Page|| [1784 views ] Top
File under: Govt of Iran

1 Off to Smithereens, at home surrounded by loved ones. How sweet.

Posted by Cesare 2026-03-01 08:01|| 2026-03-01 08:01|| Front Page Top

2 Israel says its air force strikes Tehran again after killing Khamenei but many targets remain

Posted by Skidmark 2026-03-01 08:45|| 2026-03-01 08:45|| Front Page Top

3 "He's pining for the fjords of Qom"

Posted by Frank G 2026-03-01 09:01|| 2026-03-01 09:01|| Front Page Top

4 C'mon guys, Just 'cause the Big K got his 72 raisins doesn't mean we should have to forego the Daily Women Who Bathe uplift...

Posted by Mercutio 2026-03-01 09:07|| 2026-03-01 09:07|| Front Page Top

5 About that 72 virgins thing...

See, there's no sex organs in the afterlife, therefore no sex is possible, which means they're all virgins forever and forever!

Then there's that Khamenei is one of the 72 virgins, not that the 72 virgin will cater to Khamenei desires (which of course will be impossible to fill seeing how they're all permanently virgins!)

Sucks to be a Muslim!

Posted by Seeking Cure For Ignorance 2026-03-01 12:36|| 2026-03-01 12:36|| Front Page Top

6 [Bee] Ayatollah To Give Speech As Soon As Officials Find The Rest Of His Body
Iranian officials have promised that Ayatollah Khamenei will give a speech just as soon as they have located the rest of his body.

The Iranian government has said it will prove that the strikes on Iran have been a complete failure by showing Khamenei alive and well. However, the speech will have to wait until they can find his legs.

"The world shall see how the cowardly attacks of America could never touch Allah's chosen one," said an Iranian official. "The Ayatollah himself will speak to his people, as soon as he has, ah, gathered himself. We are waiting only for the moment when the pieces have fallen into place, so to speak."

At publishing time, suspicions had been raised after the speech was given by Khamenei's head on a broomstick with an aide moving his jaw up and down.

Posted by Frank G 2026-03-01 14:59|| 2026-03-01 14:59|| Front Page Top

7 The temporarily acting supreme leader of Iran, Ayatollah Arafeh, was killed after new strikes on Tehran, according to Israeli media.

He was appointed this morning to replace Khamenei, who was also killed yesterday in strikes by the US and Israel.

Posted by 3dc 2026-03-01 15:47|| 2026-03-01 15:47|| Front Page Top

8 Well, they can call on Short Round...ohhh, as Grom notes elsewhere, he's now currently dead. What's the half-life of the next one?

Posted by Frank G 2026-03-01 16:14|| 2026-03-01 16:14|| Front Page Top

9 well after that big bang on the missiles and nuke stuff in Tehran this morning.. perhaps it's all radioactive ?

Posted by 3dc 2026-03-01 16:32|| 2026-03-01 16:32|| Front Page Top

23:01 Crusader
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