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2025-07-16 Home Front: Politix

Newsom Founds Underground Railroad To Help Mexican Kids Travel To Work The Marijuana Farms

[Babylon Bee] SACRAMENTO, CA — An inspiring story emerged amid the ongoing immigration controversy, as Governor Gavin Newsom founded an Underground Railroad to help Mexican kids travel to work on California's marijuana farms.

After ICE operations made headlines in recent weeks with raids on California cannabis farms, Newsom made the noble decision to create a secret system to help unaccompanied minor migrants avoid detection by the authorities and find their way north to work as day laborers.

"Every Mexican kid deserves the chance to live out their dream of working as slave labor in California," Newsom told reporters. "This weed isn't going to pick itself, and with Donald Trump's oppressive ICE agents constantly arresting our adult illegal aliens, we owe it to our great marijuana growers to keep them fully stocked with child labor. That's the promise these parentless children get in Gavin Newsom's California."

Newsom's Underground Railroad provides Mexican kids with a system of routes and safehouses that allows them to secretly and safely travel from their home country to the Golden State to begin their new lives of endlessly picking cannabis. "Thank you, Gavin Newsom," said 9-year-old Luis Garcia, who arrived in California by himself to live on a marijuana farm. "I was afraid I would never make it here, but he made it happen."

At publishing time, Newsom's office announced plans to create large-scale marijuana plantations where Mexican families could work in return for free lodging and food for generations.

Posted by Frank G 2025-07-16 00:00|| E-Mail|| Front Page|| ||Comments [73 views ] Top
File under: Migrants/Illegal Immigrants

#1 I wouldn't expect to see Newsom working on the railroad himself like the graphic shows with him holding a lantern and courageously leading the children into slavery. He might get his hair mussed. No. He'd pay some flunky to do it.

Posted by Abu Uluque 2025-07-16 12:03|| 2025-07-16 12:03|| Front Page || Comments Top

#2 And he'd pay the flunky with California tax revenue.

Posted by Abu Uluque 2025-07-16 12:04|| 2025-07-16 12:04|| Front Page || Comments Top

#3 They need smaller tunnels.

Posted by Skidmark 2025-07-16 14:35|| 2025-07-16 14:35|| Front Page || Comments Top

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