Article

2009-05-28 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Big Brother asks: 'Do you have a flush toilet?'

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Posted by Ulomosh Slairong6586 2009-05-28 12:36|| E-Mail|| Front Page|| [784 views ] Top

#1 Nope. Just a water fountain for a couple of household pets. Heeeere's your sign.

Posted by Grenter, Protector of the Geats 2009-05-28 14:27|| 2009-05-28 14:27|| Front Page Top

#2 So what happens to you if you just don't fill the damn thing out?

Posted by bman 2009-05-28 14:35|| 2009-05-28 14:35|| Front Page Top

#3 The survey asks, for instance, how many bathrooms you have in your house,

Enough

how many miles you drive to work,

As many as it takes to get there

how many days you were sick last year,

Depends on what you mean by "sick".

and whether you have trouble getting up stairs.

It depends on how drunk I am

Posted by tu3031 2009-05-28 14:52|| 2009-05-28 14:52|| Front Page Top

#4 bman, ask to have it translated into another language. I'd demand to have it translated into Russian (Spanish would be way too easy). If they don't, start screaming about how their cultural insensitivity has offended you, blah blah blah.

Then say that answering some of the questions is an affront to your religion.

Posted by Cornsilk Blondie 2009-05-28 14:55|| 2009-05-28 14:55|| Front Page Top

#5 I'm not going to answer any questions unless its asked in a specific Jedi dialect of Klingon......

Posted by CrazyFool 2009-05-28 14:58|| 2009-05-28 14:58|| Front Page Top

#6 I think you should ...
count cupboards as rooms
count the garden as a "spare" toilet
obviously tick difficulty climbing stairs (antigrav boots not invented yet).
Remember you treat the dog as member of the family..

A census means but one thing, lets stiff you for YET MORE tax.

Posted by Bright Pebbles 2009-05-28 15:06|| 2009-05-28 15:06|| Front Page Top

#7 "count the garden as a "spare" toilet"

That really only works for men, BP. :-(

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2009-05-28 15:26|| 2009-05-28 15:26|| Front Page Top

#8 Howzabout answering "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" to their nosy questions? :-D

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2009-05-28 15:28|| 2009-05-28 15:28|| Front Page Top

#9 These are standard census bureau questions that have been asked for years. Some , like the flush toilet question, have been asked for decades. It's actually useful information for demographic and planning purposes.

Posted by Steve White 2009-05-28 15:31|| 2009-05-28 15:31|| Front Page Top

#10 The problem here is not asking questions. Let them ask what they like. The problem is making it mandatory on pain of fine and imprisonment. That is reason enough for a little civil disobedience.

Posted by Iblis 2009-05-28 15:42|| 2009-05-28 15:42|| Front Page Top

#11 Fine and jail time is what one couple were threatened with for not answering questions posed by the government census bureau. To which my response is, to hell with the damn thing in that case.

Just another "public servants? No, YOU are now under OUR thumb you little peasant."

Posted by Daffy Glaving2126 2009-05-28 15:51|| 2009-05-28 15:51|| Front Page Top

#12 I agree with Steve. The in-depth questionnaire is given to some percentage of the population every census cycle.And every census cycle there's a bunch of folks unhappy with it.

Don't forget we've got a bunch of Boomers whose hips are starting to give out now. ;-)

It might not be a bad idea to map out where the rehab clinics should be located...

Posted by Seafarious 2009-05-28 15:54|| 2009-05-28 15:54|| Front Page Top

#13 Barbara, you obviously don't have a dog. :P

Posted by Cornsilk Blondie 2009-05-28 16:06|| 2009-05-28 16:06|| Front Page Top

#14 last go round, nunaya was a common answer on my form.

as in it aint nunaya bidness, so scram!

Posted by abu do you love ">abu do you love 2009-05-28 16:07|| 2009-05-28 16:07|| Front Page Top

#15 I'm more concerned about _who_ will be selected to fill out these longer forms. I'm betting that Obama and ACORN will damn make sure that certain groups are 'fully represented' while others are not in order to impact the results which will be used for budget allocations, etc...

quick story....

Back in '80 (or '81) I worked for the Census Bureau having to validate and check all the returned (short) forms. Extremely BORING job.

Anyway there were 4 of us to a table going thru boxes of basic Census forms. On my table there was a gentleman and a pretty nice looking woman. The gentleman was doing a lot of sweet talking with the woman.... that is until she just happen to get his census card. Then things got kind of entertaining as she read his real stats....

Anyway (again) near the end we had a little party with a cake someone had decorated to look like a Census form - with a big red ' N O Y B' splashed across it. (NOYB - None Of Your Business).

Posted by CrazyFool 2009-05-28 17:27|| 2009-05-28 17:27|| Front Page Top

#16 "count the garden as a "spare" toilet"

That really only works for men, BP. :-(

Y'all ladies can also hang your rear over the Tub(Emergency only) seriously, the drains all come together when it leaves the house.
Tub, toilet, sink, washing machine, kitchen sink and tub, all into the 4 inch drain from the house to the sewer, septic, or whatever you use.

Posted by Redneck Jim 2009-05-28 17:43|| 2009-05-28 17:43|| Front Page Top

#17 The U.S. Constitution allows Americans to be counted for purposes of taxation and political representation.

That means all you are legally required to respond with is how many people live in your residence.

The fine for non compliance is a check for $100.00, not $5,000.

Posted by newc">newc 2009-05-28 19:57|| 2009-05-28 19:57|| Front Page Top

#18 I guess I have three flush and the back corner, except I have never figured out how to use more than one at a time.

They promise never to share the information. Once upon a time they sent me the farm supplement. I reported under crops grown, 30 acre burdock, 10 acre marijuana. Never heard from them again.

Posted by Skunky Glins 5***">Skunky Glins 5*** 2009-05-28 21:10|| 2009-05-28 21:10|| Front Page Top

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