[Weekly Standard] Democratic congressman Jim Moran'sDemocrat Congressman-for-Life from Northern Virginia...
son, Patrick Moran,
This was the guy Project Veritas got on tape telling how to set up a little voter fraud.
has pleaded guilty to beating his girlfriend.
I doubt that'll actually hurt his political career. By the time Dad retires in 2066 it'll be a youthful peccadillo.
The assualt outside a nightclub left Moran's girlfriend with bloody nose and a fractured skull.
Not just a little game of slapsy with her, but a full-fledged thumping. He must feel ever so manly...
"MPD Sgt. Paul, S from the Fifth District Vice unit along with ABRA investigator Stewart, Craig observed a white male, later found to be known as D-1 (Moran) grab a white female by the back of her head with his hand and slam her head into the metal trash can cage in front of the nightclub 'The Getaway'.
So he didn't notice the vice cop unobtrusively hanging around when he thumped her. The vice cop must not have realized he was the son of a Congressman-for-Life, mistaking him instead for a frisky pimp. No doubt the cop's career is over, since the arrest can't be undone...
After both parties were separated investigation revealed that the female (CW-1) was D-1's girlfriend
"Yeah! She's my girlfriend, so piss off! I wanna call my Dad!"
and they had been in an argument inside the nightclub over D-1 talking to another female inside the club. CW-1 stated that she and D-1 have been together for six months," the report continues.
"Yeah! Six months! Wanna see my bruises?"
"Shuddup! You love me, baby!"
"People like you are the reason undercover cops don't carry nightsticks, kid!"
"The argument filtered outside
"I'm leaving!"
"No, you ain't!"
where D-1 then assaulted CW-1. Officer Murphy (4041) and Officer Anderson (Curfew 42) responded to assist.
"[Rrrrrrrrrr!] [Screech!]"
Officer Murphy observed CW-1 to be bleeding heavily from her nose
"Jeez! She looks like she's been kicked in the face by a horse!"
and also observed that her nose and right eye were extremely swollen.
"Did yer nose always point to the left like that, miss?"
"Doe!"
"Then I think it's busted!"
Ambulance 11 responded to the scene
"[Rrrrrrrrrr!] [Screech!]"
for treatment and transportation to Howard Hospital.
I'm guessing that's Howard University Hospital, rather than Howard County, which is pretty far from there...
The medical technician advised Officer Murphy that CW-1's nose looked to be broken and that her right socket could possibly be fractured which is actually considered a skull fracture.
"It's an eye socket! How can you consider that a skull fracture!"
"Shuddup, kid! Eye sockets are on the skull that's why."
"I wanna call my Dad!"
"Shuddup."
"D-1 was placed under arrest for Felony Assault, Domestic Violence
"You have the right to remain silent..."
"I wanna call my Dad!"
and was transported to the Fourth District for processing.
"Book him, Muldoon!"
Officer Murphy who is a certified crime scene technician processed the crime scene."
"Jones, get me a cast of that trash bin! Jackson, [FLASH!] take some pictures!"
The Washington City Paper reports that the younger Moran plead guilty to the assault.
Good idea, since he did it in front of a vice cop and they got pictures of the bloody trash bin.
Wonder if I'd get probation if they had that kind of evidence on me. On second thought, I don't wonder at all...
Patrick Moran was fired from his father's campaign earlier this year
"Son, you're fired! Pack your spit and get out!"
"I wanna call Mom!"
after a video exposed him of conspiring to commit voter fraud.
"But really, I was just joshing!"
"You didn't look like you were joshing!"
[SLAM!]
"Owww! My eye socket!"
"I hope their privacy will be respected," Congressman Moran told the paper. "They look forward to putting this embarrassing situation behind them."
[RING!]
"Hi! This is Tiffany! I'm not at my phone and if you're Patrick Moron I never will be again! Please leave a message at the tone!"
[BEEP!]
"You love me, baby! Call me!"
CW-1? Things got a little out of hand. It's just this damn war and that lying son of a bitch
