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Syria-Lebanon-Iran

US, Israel will soon exit Middle East: Ahmadinejad

2011-02-12

[Asharq al-Aswat] Iran's diminutive President Mahmoud Short Round Ahmadinejad said on Friday that a new Middle East is being created which will be free of the United States and Israel, as he backed uprisings rocking the Arab world and warned Egyptians to beware of America. Massive crowds of Iranians, waving flags and chanting: "Death to (Egyptian President Hosni) Mubarak!" and: "Death to America™!" descended on Tehran's Azadi (Freedom) Square to listen to the hardliner, who lashed out at the West and Israel in a speech marking the 32nd anniversary of the Islamic revolution. "We will soon see a new Middle East materialising without America and the Zionist regime and there will be no room for world arrogance (the West) in it," Ahmadinejad told the cheering crowds, who gathered despite the cold and cloudy weather. In a speech directed in good part at the Arab uprisings, Ahmadinejad said Egyptians needed to be careful of the United States. "They (the United States) have adopted a friendly face and say 'we are friends of the people of North Africa and Arab countries', but be watchful and united. You will be victorious... but your path of resistance is a lengthy one," he said. "The Iranian nation is your friend and it is your right to freely choose your path. The Iranian nation backs this right of yours." Iran, which has no diplomatic ties with Egypt, has backed mass protests there, now in their 18th straight day, with supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei urging the people to establish an Islamic regime in the Arab world's most populous nation. The expressions of support came despite the deadly crackdown launched by the Iranian authorities when hundreds of thousands erupted into the streets of Tehran and other cities to protest against official results giving Ahmadinejad a second term in a June 2009 presidential election. Dozens of Iranians were killed, hundreds maimed and scores nabbed by security forces during the protests which shook the pillars of the Islamic regime. The Iranian authorities have also been jamming the BBC's Persian-language television channel, the broadcaster said on Friday, linking the move to its coverage of the protests in Egypt. "This jamming should stop immediately," the director of the BBC World Service, Peter Horrocks, said. "The events in Egypt are being viewed by the entire world and it is wrong that our significant Iranian audience is being denied impartial news and information from BBC Persian TV." BBC Persian was also the victim of extensive jamming during its coverage of the anti-Ahmadinejad demonstrations of 2009. Ahmadinejad appealed to the messianic beliefs of Iran's majority Shiite faith, saying the world was witnessing a revolution overseen by Imam Mehdi -- its 12th imam who disappeared as a five-year-old in the 10th century and who the faithful believe will return before judgement day. "The final move has begun. We are in the middle of a world revolution managed by this dear (12th Imam). A great awakening is unfolding. One can witness the hand of the Imam in managing it," said Ahmadinejad, wearing his trademark jacket. He hit out at the United States, calling it an "accomplice to the oppression of the Zionist regime." "If you want people to trust you, first of all do not interfere in affairs of the region, including in Tunisia and Egypt. Let them be by themselves," he said. "Come and take away the Zionist regime which is the source of all crimes... take it away and liberate the region. Free the region and give it to the people and take this regime, which is the child of Satan (the United States), out." Chants of "Egyptians, Tunisians, your uprisings are just and we are with you," and "Hosni Mubarak 'mubarak' (congratulations) on the uprising of your people!" rang through the streets as the crowds marked the anniversary of the 1979 revolution which toppled shah Mohammad Reza, a key US ally. Diplomatic relations between Tehran and Washington were broken off soon after and remain so to this day. During last year's anniversary rally, Iran's opposition attempted to stage anti-government demonstrations which were crushed by the authorities. Since then opposition supporters have stayed off Tehran streets but their leaders Mir Hossein Mousavi and Mehdi Karroubi have sought permission to hold a rally on Monday in support of the Arab uprisings.

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Syria-Lebanon-Iran

Sunni Payback To The IRGC

2010-07-27

Autoedited by Rantburg Late last week, two suicide kabooms in southeastern Iran reduced a mosque to rubble, leaving 27 dead and nearly 300 injured. The explosions were the work of Jundollah--"Soldiers of Allah"--a rebel Sunni group opposed to the Shiite-controlled regime in Tehran. The Islamic Republic has always accused the United States of being Jundollah's paymaster. The leader of Tehran's government-controlled Friday Prayer even charged the U.S. with masterminding the attacks: "Since the U.S. has lost face in the case of Shahram Amiri [the Iranian nuclear scientist who allegedly spied for the U.S. against Iran] and the reputation of its intelligence has also become questionable, they wanted to divert attention from their defeat and disgrace through this crime." The bombs sent a powerful message that Jundollah survived a major setback earlier this year when its leader, Abdolmalek Rigi, was jugged and subsequently hanged on June 20. When the regime apprehended Rigi, the state media went out of their way to showcase the operation. Security teams surrounded a beaten Rigi with large, muscled balaclava-clad agents known as the "unknown soldiers of the Messianic Imam Mehdi" in an attempt to demonstrate the strength of the state against a feeble rebel on national television. The twin explosions presented the opposite picture. Jundollah struck Iran's leadership on a highly symbolic day, as it was both the birthday of the prophet Mohammad's grandson (revered by Shiites as the ultimate martyr) and Revolutionary Guards Day on the official calendar. Jundollah claims that the victims were mostly high-ranking Revolutionary Guards busy celebrating the holiday at the mosque. The mosque was also located in the center of Zahedan, where there is maximum security. Now, it's Jundollah's turn to boast. Unreported in the Western press is Jundollah's claim that, in addition to the bombings, it trapped and murdered a top Iranian regime informant in a separate operation. Collaborators and informants understood the warning: Cease cooperation with the Iranian government, or suffer the same fate. Meanwhile, in the wake of the bombings, three members of Iran's parliament from the Southeast resigned. Their official justification was that the central government has been unable to provide security in the region. More likely, they are attempting to escape Jundollah's bloody campaign of Dire Revenge™. Only one day before the Jundollah attacks, Iran's Interior Minister and Revolutionary Guard member Mostafa Najjar had declared peace in the Southeast thanks to Rigi's June execution. "The eastern regions of the country are absolutely calm," he said.

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Iraq

Tater puts Mehdi Militia on Double Secret Probation

2008-08-28

Iraqi cleric Moqtada al-Sadr extended indefinitely a ceasefire for his Mehdi militia on Thursday and ordered his followers to protest peacefully against the U.S. occupation. "The freezing of the Mehdi army is considered valid until further notice, and anyone who violates this order will not be considered part of the Mehdi army," Sadr said in a handwritten statement read by senior aide Hazim al-Araji in the cleric's offices in the southern holy Shi'ite city of Najaf. The influential anti-American cleric has issued orders curtailing and redefining the activities of his Mehdi Army fighters after Iraqi government and U.S. forces defeated them in Baghdad and the southern city of Basra this year. Sadr said earlier this month he would dissolve the militia if U.S. troops start withdrawing from Iraq according to a fixed timetable -- something Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki has sought in negotiations with Washington. In June, Sadr decreed that only a select group of the Mehdi Army, named after the revered 9th Century Shi'ite Imam Mehdi, would be authorized to battle U.S. forces in Iraq.

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Iraq

Iraqi officials tout successful security measures during Kerbala pilgrimage

2008-08-18

More than 3 million Shiites marked the annual pilgrimage to Kerbala amid tight security and attacks on the way to the holy city that killed dozens of people, officials said on Sunday. Shiite worshippers from across the Muslim world converged on Kerbala over the past week to celebrate Shabaniyya, the birth anniversary of the eighth century Imam Mehdi, who vanished as a boy and whom Shiites believe will return one day as the messiah. The celebrations culminated overnight on Saturday with over 3 million Shiites having visited the central Iraqi city over the past week, Akhil Khazali, the governor of Kerbala, told AFP. "All the government offices and services were on alert during the ceremony," Khazali said. Iraqi Shiites braved sustained militant attacks which claimed at least 36 lives since Thursday as they walked on foot from across the country to Kerbala for the ceremony. Kerbala police chief Major General Raed Shakir Jawdat said the security plan in place for the celebration was a success. "The security plan required thousands of security personnel, including more than 2,000 women police workers," he said. Over 40,000 soldiers and police had been mobilized, including 2,000 female officers, to boost security in and around Kerbala ahead of the festival. Jawdat added that the security measures would remain until all the pilgrims had left the city. "The pilgrims were aware that these measures were for their safety and to protect them from terrorist attacks," he said.

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India-Pakistan

Lal Masjid as logic of Islamic rejectionism

2007-07-12

By Khaled Ahmed Muslims all over the world withhold legitimacy from the Muslim nation-state. Muslim states respond by using the mithridatism of sharia – take a bit of poison every day for immunity from actual poisoning – only to discover that the clergy continually posits a more stringent sharia whose enforcement is not possible without theocratic rule. The Islamic state describes a familiar trajectory of rejectionism till it becomes internally secure under direct clerical rule, as in the case of Mullah Umar’s Sunni caliphate of Afghanistan and Imam Khomeini’s Shia imamate of Iran. Isolation, indoctrination, rejectionism: The madrassa and the mosque act as nurseries of Islamic rejectionism. The mosque is the place of employment of the graduate of a seminary. The seminary socially insulates its acolytes through its dars nizami syllabus, ensuring that its graduates can only be employed in a mosque. (This is at the root of the proliferation of mosques in Pakistan.) The residential madrassa is the locus of three functions: isolation, indoctrination and rejection. The burden of its message to society is an exhortation to vigilantism based on the Quranic concept of amr (encourage good) and nahi (oppose wrong). In a Muslim state, a majority of the population possesses a rejectionist mind – rejection of ‘the incompletely Islamic state’. This is not a negative trait; it is an honest expression of allegiance to the utopia of the sharia. The clerical message about the backsliding of the state targets internal non-enforcement of literalist edicts. It also attacks foreign policy whose avoidance of international isolation is interpreted as compromise of national honour. Honour-based societies such as Pakistan focus on foreign policy as a device of repossession of lost honour. In this sense, Islam becomes an instrument of re-tribalisation. Madrassa as centre of cult following: Lal Masjid encapsulates the Muslim mind. The TV channels in Pakistan have woken up to the parallels Lal Masjid has in other parts of the world, but they still deliberately ignore the cultic aspects of these comparisons. Not all the comparisons have been correctly defined. For instance, comparisons with the Chechen attacks on a school in Beslan in Russia (2004) and a Moscow theatre (2005) do not take into account the charisma of Abdul Aziz. However the reference to 1979 Makka revolt by a rebel preacher Juhaima was more to the point because of the central figure in it of Imam Mehdi pretender. Reference to the siege of Golden Temple after the Bhindranwale revolt (1984) in India is also an acceptable analogy. Why did the TV channels avoid reference to the fact that Juhaima had put up his nephew Qahtani as the promised Mehdi? One can only say that there is a reluctance to compare cultism with the Lal Masjid phenomenon. Reference was indeed made to the 300 ‘prophetic’ dream visions of Maulana Abdul Aziz in the Urdu press, but the theme was not pursued further. Was this non-reference meant to avoid comparison with religious cults in the West that manifested the same syndrome of isolation-indoctrination-rejection as the Islamabad seminary? Divine inspiration and cult figures: If Maulana Abdul Aziz had received his orders directly from Allah, and had a cult following he himself described as ready to commit suicide for him, David Koresh and his suicide squad of devotees at Waco, Texas (1993) also clashed with state troops because ‘messages from God’ did not allow surrender. His cult followers accepted suicide the same way as the cult followers of California’s Jim Jones in British Guiana (1978). The Swiss group suicide (1994) was also ordained by a divine message. The fanaticism of the male and female acolytes of Maulana Abdul Aziz would have resulted in mass suicide had he not himself abandoned them by fleeing. The Lal Masjid founder Maulana Abdullah was killed in 1998 at the height of the sectarian war unleashed by Deobandi madrassas in 1986 after the issuance of apostatisation fatwas. Abdullah was a graduate of Jamia Banuria like Maulana Masood Azhar of Jaish Muhammad whose trained terrorists are now found entrenched within Lal Masjid together with Maulana Abdur Rashid Ghazi. Ghazi echoed his father’s sectarian worldview when he told a TV channel that the government might have brought out Shia warriors against his besieged acolytes. The Aziz-Rashid duo began with a clear anti-Shia intent when they abducted a Shia lady in Islamabad after accusing her of running a brothel. Only the BBC website recorded the charge made by the lady that, while they were dragging her family out, the Lal Masjid vigilantes had referred to the Shia sect as a ‘sect of prostitutes’. The duo had climbed to the top of the already dominant position of the Deobandi seminaries in Islamabad by establishing contacts with the Taliban and Al Qaeda. Musharraf and proliferation of madrassas: The madrassas in Pakistan have proliferated after 9/11 and under Musharraf. This makes clear the intent of the new religious seminary in Pakistan. In the old radical madrassas ready to face America and its allies, induction of acolytes has doubled, as was shown by admissions at Jamia Banuria in 2002. In Islamabad too, the proliferation of madrassas has taken place under Musharraf after 2001, not under General Zia after 1979. Today, there are 88 seminaries in Islamabad imparting religious education to more than 16,000 students. It is not for nothing that every second male in Islamabad keeps a jihadi beard and looks scary to foreigners. Research has revealed that the number of students of the Deobandi seminaries, including Jamia Hafsa and Jamia Faridia, doubled during the last one year. The students to these seminaries – many of them residential – have flocked from all parts of the NWFP and the tribal areas. Madrassa dominance of Islamabad: The breakdown of madrassas in Islamabad is as follows: Deobandi (5,400 students); Barelvi (3,000 students in 46 seminaries), Ahle-Hadith (200 students in two seminaries); Shia (700 students in eight seminaries) and Jamaat-e-Islami-led Rabita al-Madaris (1,500 students in 18 seminaries). According to a newspaper investigative report, ‘the present number of 10,700 seminarians in the federal capital is almost equal to the combined strength of the seminary students from Balochistan (6,374 students) and Azad Jammu and Kashmir (2,835 students)’. Who has tried to change the character of Islamabad through a proliferation of extremist seminaries? One could quickly claim that President Musharraf could not have been involved in this proliferation because of his exhortations against extremism. But that would be incorrect: During the rule of General Zia (from July 1977 to August 1988), 7 new seminaries were established in the federal capital; under President Musharraf, the number went up to 14! Mithridatism will not work. The commander of the Rangers besieging the Lal Masjid madrassa had a flowing beard just like the ones sported by Maulana Abdul Aziz and Abdur Rashid. Almost all the troops brought out to confront the terrorists inside Jamia Hafsa were bearded and looked more like the Taliban than Pakistan army soldiers. Pakistan is firmly set on the trajectory beyond all dreams of democracy as the panacea for collective derailments. Utopias of rejectionism: At the end of the parabola of Islamic reform is the theocratic state, ruled and secured against de-legitimisation by the clergy through punishment of dissent with death on the basis of the doctrine of fasad fil ard (turmoil on earth). But after the establishment of theocracy as the acme of state evolution, comes the international assault. The Sunni caliphate of Afghanistan was invaded under a chapter-seven UN Security Council resolution number 1373. It was found that the caliphate had endangered its Muslim neighbours before endangering the world. The same kind of international movement is developing against the imamate of Iran which also endangers its Muslim neighbours equally as it endangers the world. The seminary is the symbol of Islamic rejectionism. This rejectionism is achieved through isolation which international investigators often condone as dars nizami, thinking that insulation of the acolyte has nothing to do with violent rejection of society and state. At the subconscious level, we are all waiting for the Sunni caliphate in Pakistan. We all know what will happen after that.

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India-Pakistan

Nuggets from the Urdu press

2007-05-12

Rose pedals shower dead lovers As reported in daily Jang, a young boy, Waqas, who wanted to marry his sweetheart, took poison after a fight with his mother over the marriage proposal. The girl also took poison and reached the house of Waqas then started weeping over his dead body. She was rushed to the hospital when blood started from her mouth but she died on her way to the hospital. People showered rose petals on their janazas as they were lifted from the same street. Fake pir beats the jinn out of a woman As reported in daily Jang, in Gagu Mandi Munir Ahmad’s wife was running a high fever for few days. He took her to a local Pir Yasin Shah who said that she is under the control of very powerful jinn. He started treatment by beating her with hockey stick and the woman became unconscious. The pir charged Munir Ahmad 200 rupees fee and said the wife would be fine when she reached home. The woman died after remaining unconscious for two days. Faisalabad madrassa follows Jamia Hafsa As reported in daily Express, the students of Jamia Qasmia in Faisalabad raided an alleged brothel house, inspired by the incident of Jamia Hafsa. The residents of Ghulam Mohammad Abad registered their complaint with the madrassa against the woman who was running a brothel in the area. The students raided the locality and one student was arrested by the police. Dacoits return jewellry to mehfil-e-milad women As reported in daily Jang, in Daska four armed dacoits entered a house where women were holding mehfil-e-milad and snatched their jewellery at gun-point worth lacs of rupees. When the dacoits tried to stop the recitation of milad, the brave women refused to stop zikr-e-rasool (PTUI PBUH). Inspired by their faith the dacoits returned the jewellery and left after apologising to the women. Madrassa teacher booked under Women’s Protection Bill As reported in daily Jang, a naib nazim Safiullah, aka Janat Gul, of a madrassa in Kahna tricked a boy, Naveed, to his room and tried to sodomize him. He beat him violently when the boy struggled and ran away. The abuser reached the house of the boy with an accomplice, but the local residents intervened and nabbed the culprits. A force of 25 stick bearing madrassa students attacked the residents of the street and forcefully released the culprits before the arrival of police. Police registered the case in section 367/A under the Women Protection Bill. Fatwa against suicide bombing As reported in daily Nawa-e-Waqt, two thousand ulema in a convention organised by Jamiat ulema Islam gave a fatwa that suicide bombing and establishing shariat by force, is un-Islamic. The six page fatwa by the convention stated that threatening barbers to stop shaving beards and attacking CD shops is also against Islam. Some hidden forces are attacking the Islamic government and are killing their own Muslim brothers. They said that these acts are bringing a bad name to madrassas and ulema. Marriage of egoists Abhishek and Aishwarya Accoriding to daily Jang, the experts of numerology said that the handwriting of Abhishek Bachan and Aishwarya Rai indicated that they wouldn't rebel against the family traditions. Abhishek could be physically harmed in 2008 but that can be avoided via puja. They advised Aishwarya to change her name into Aishwarya Bachan, but if she kept her name even as Aishwarya Rai Bachan, her mother could influence her marriage. They might have internal conflicts as both are big stars and Aishwarya Rai is more an egoist than Abhishek, but the clash of egos would not lead to separation. ‘Imam Mehdi’ arrested by police As reported in daily Nawa-e-Waqt, in the southern Punjab city of Ahmad Pur Sharqia a man was arrested for declaring himself as ‘Imam Mehdi.’ The jobless resident of Mohalla Nur Shah, Bilal Ahmad, was arrested under section 295 and 298 for blasphemy and sent to Bhawalpur central jail. People accusing the cricket team should leave Pakistan As reported in Daily Pakistan, popular all rounder Shahid Afridi of the Pakistan cricket team said that those who are hurling allegations of match fixing on Pakistan cricket team have no right to live in Pakistan. He said that he wanted to be the captain of Pakistan cricket team but he would support the new captain. He demanded that the PCB shall appoint a senior player as vice captain and ex-cricketers shall find new talent rather than finding jobs with the PCB. 12 year old Taliban slaughters his spy comrade As reported in daily Express, Taliban commander Mullah Akhtar Usmani issued a video cassette showing the slaughter of his own comrade, Qari Ghulam Nabi, for spying against the Taliban. A 12 year old Taliban boy was shown with a knife slaughtering Qari Ghulam Nabi. The boy said that this would be the fate of all those who are spying for America. According to American news agency, Qari Ghulam Nabi was a Pakistani citizen whose father, Ghulam Sakhi, vowed to avenge the murder of his son. Police officers released Sonia Naz case As reported in daily Nawa-e-Waqt, an additional session judge released SP Khalid Abdullah and inspector Iqbal Chisti who were arrested in the famous Sonia Naz rape case. The court ruled that the applicant, Sonia Naz, was summoned by the court many times because she couldn’t be contacted as she left her home for an undisclosed location. Fight over the donations for shrine of Amir Cheema As reported in Daily Pakistan, professor Mohammad Nazir Cheema, the father of Amir Cheema shaheed who sacrificed his life for the protection of sanctity of the Prophet Mohammad (PTUI PBUH) in Berlin, alleged that Pir Mohammad Afzal Qadri of Gujrat has purchased a land near the donated land of the grave of Amir Cheema and is receiving donations to construct a shrine. Pir Afzal Qadri has threatened to shift the remains of Amir Cheema to Gujrat. Sarfraz Nawaz’s mouth for rent As reported in daily Jang, the ex-captain of Pakistan cricket team Imran Khan sent legal notice against Sarfraz Nawaz for his allegations and said that Sarfraz Nawaz’s mouth is rented by people and is being used after the World Cup. He said Sarfraz’s allegations of betting on Javed Miandad, he and now the Pakistan cricket team has brought bad reputation for Pakistan in the international press. Pope finds ambiguity in Darwin's theory As reported in daily Nawa-e-Waqt, Pope Benedict 16th criticized Darwin’s theory of evolution and said there are a lot of loop holes in this theory. He said there should be a compromise between reason and faith. He repeated the words of Pope John Paul II that Darwin’s theory is still more than a hypothesis, but it is not yet complete. Westernised women working for clash of civilisations As reported in daily Jang, the ameer of Jamaat Islami, Qazi Hussain Ahmad, said that a few Westernised women are protesting against the religious extremists to please the Americans. These protests are creating discord among the Muslims’ unity. The Western embassies in Pakistan are funding these NGOs and Westernised women to create the atmosphere of a clash of civilisations in Pakistan.

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Iraq

Prepare for onslaught in Iraq? Troubling Signs.

2006-07-19

from Iraq the Model A few days ago we mentioned that we tend to believe that this ongoing war in Lebanon is not only about Hizbollah and Israel; that it is probably the first stage of a wider regional conflict that is going to extend far beyond the borders of Lebanon and Israel. What I want to add today is that it is not wise to try to deal with it in the same way previous conflicts were dealt with, why? Because this conflict is not like any of the previous ones. What we must realize here is the involvement of the theological (mythological) element in this particular conflict which is also the reason why this conflict has the potential to expand into full-scale regional war. It is true that religion had always been playing a central role in the numerous chapters of the conflict between the Muslims and the West but this time there's a totally different theological belief that is being used by Iran to provoke and direct this war; I think the best way to say it is that we are about to see Iran launch the mullahs' version of an 'Armageddon'. I know this may sound absurd and maybe some of you are thinking no one could possibly be thinking that way but remember, I am telling you what extremist theocrats seem to be planning for and logic has very little space in the mullahs' way of thinking. I'm not going to claim I know exactly what Hizbollah's or Hamas's hidden motives are because I don't live there but I know about those of the regime in Iran and its arm in Iraq; both Ahmedinejad and Sadr are devout believers in the 'Savior Imam' of Shia Islam who is the 12th grandson of prophet Mohammed, also known by the name 'Imam Mehdi' hence the name of Sadr's militias 'the Mehdi Army'. I must point out though that some factions of Sunni Islam also believe in the rise of the Imam but they have their own different version of the story. Both Ahmedinejad and Sadr believe it is their duty to pave the way and prepare the ground for the rise of the Imam whose rise, according to their branch of Shia Islam, requires certain conditions and a sequence of certain events; the story is too long to discuss in one post so I'll just move on to offer my observations We are seeing some signs here that make us think that Iran and its tools in Iraq are trying to provoke the rise of the imam through forcing the signs they believe should be associated with that rise. One of the things that do not feel right is the sudden appearance of new banners and writings on the walls carrying religious messages talking specifically of imam Mehdi. These messages are getting abundant in Baghdad and in particular in the eastern part of the capital where Sadr militias are dominant and a special number can be seen in the area of the interior ministry complex. The interesting part is that these banners appeared within less than 24 hours after Hizbollah kidnapped the Israeli soldiers. Coincidence? I don't think so. The messages on the banners are sort of new too and sound different from the ones we're used to read, I've took photos of two of them that read as follows: "By renouncing sin and by integration for the sake of afterlife we become the best soldiers to our leader and savior the Mehdi" and;, "Everyone gets power from weapons and money but the loyal to the savior get their pride from almighty God" These are written on white cloth instead of the traditional black, red or green of religious banners. We pointed out in an earlier post about the organic connections between the tools of Iran in Iraq and Lebanon and how Sadr was following Nesrallah's steps and I won't be exaggerating if I said that Sadr is even using the same structural pattern of Hizbollah for his militia, not to mention that Sadr's "foreign relations bureau" is based in Beirut! What I'm interested in finding is whether Sadr is going to jump in and join this war and whether Iran's agenda is going to include creating more chaos in the "Arab" depth to keep Tehran safe Threatening with such wide-spread chaos is embarrassing to the world and especially to America and Europe and will probably move the latter powers to try to contain the crisis and prevent it from taking a wider scope than it occupies now and I'm afraid this could make the world look for symptomatic treatments instead of cures. Those banners above represent an ominous sign and I'd like to say again that one should prepare for the worst from the very unstable mixture of religion and policy. I went to a guy who knows quite a lot about this salvation war so to speak and asked him if the texts mention anything about the timing of the war and whether it's supposed to begin before or after the rise of the Imam and the answer was "After" but he added that chaos and rampant violence in the region are supposed to be among the signs and that the main battle would be "lead by the Imam himself". The thing is that we can't be sure that they are going to play by book because throughout the Islamic history rulers employed what people consider divine texts to remain in power and make people obey them; and they did this either by twisting the texts through slanted interpretations or by making up the text as in adding thousands of texts that were claimed to be the sayings of the prophet. Here we're most likely going to see a new maneuver and I expect that the "imminent" arrival of the Imam is going to be announced through the Mumahidoon (those who pave the way for the Imam) and that's what Sadr and followers describe themselves and that's the word they use for a title of their website. That's if they didn't claim they were receiving messages from the Imam via a messenger. All previous wars between Israel and Arabs were of a pan-nationalist nature and used feelings of Arabism to push the people to war. Of course religion had a role too but now religion is going to push Arabism aside and be the dominant element in Iran's planned war because of the failure of pan-nationalism to retain its influence in the region after a long history of failures. Iran's dreams in exporting the Islamic revolution were stopped by the once strong pan-nationalism in last quarter of the 20th century but today we're facing a renewed project of exporting the Islamic revolution in an attempt to fill (and take advantage of) the vacuum left by the fading pan Arab nationalism And with liberalism still not strong enough to face such a challenge, I think the future of the region is in big danger.

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India-Pakistan

Is entertainment ‘haram’?

2006-05-28

The Punjab governor, Lieutenant-General (r) Khalid Maqbool, was addressing a psychologists’ conference in Lahore when he touched on the problem of entertainment in society, which is just as well because many of our psychological ills spring from our ideological stringencies banning entertainment in the name of religion. He urged more entertainment in the form of music and drama for the relaxation of society, which, he said “suffered from psychological pressures”. He linked “optimism” to it, saying, “We need a message of hope, play more music and more drama to provide relaxation to the people”. Thereafter he said that “Islam also urges people to adopt a balanced and relaxed life” and that Pakistani society needed to review itself — implying that the clergy had no monopoly on interpreting Islam. What the good governor has raised is a cultural question, and what he has challenged is the trend so far to let entire cities slide into a wasteland of culture, some 90 percent of which comprises entertainment. He must recall the phenomenon of the Talibanisation of Gujranwala and Gujrat where popular theatre has been attacked by the clergy in tandem with the police for years. It has got particularly bad following the election from Gujranwala of a Pakhtun MNA in the 2002 election — we recall the assault of the Taliban-like seminarians of the same leader on a government-sponsored “marathon”. Thus there are many cities in the Punjab that have become a culture-less wasteland of our clerical imagination much before the outbreak of the disease in North Waziristan. Hence the mental disease and the phenomena of “Imam Mehdis” emerging periodically from our benighted cities to confront the “dajjal” of entertainment. (That the disease is universal and essentially Muslim was proved by the fact that the last “Imam Mehdi” we arrested from Toba Tek Singh came from London!) The most difficult and controversial subject in Pakistan today is culture. As it is, culture is difficult to define. Is it the way people live? Is it the way people “want” to live? Is it something that can be equated with religion? Does it coexist with religion? Does it subvert religion? Is it entertainment? Is it something to be saved? Or is it something to be rooted out as an “accretion”? Can we censor culture, applying to it the Islamic principle of exclusion? Or is there a cultural norm in Islam that must be enforced? At different times we say different things about culture. There are times when we think our culture was much defaced by “Hindu culture”. We also give the impression that after 1947 the Hindu accretion should have been eliminated to make space for a “pure” culture known to us in Islam. Since the proxy war fought by Pakistan in Afghanistan and Kashmir was spearheaded by the clergy, “Islamisation” was also a kind of threat to the old culture of accretion. The warrior priest was not only exemplary; he could threaten too. If one applies a little bit of coercion with propaganda the indoctrination spreads more quickly. But it has also a opposite effect. People develop a passive resistance to it. That is the moment when the India factor becomes important as a source of culture. Under General Zia ul Haq, a furtive dependence on Indian TV and Indian movies became crucial to the survival of the people in Pakistan. As the Jamaat destroyed paintings of Lahore’s artists (remember the assault on Colin David’s house?) people watched Indian dances on the VCR. The police tried to catch people watching Indian movies on hired VCRs but was finally ineffective. The application of “Islam” in Pakistan became more and more prescriptive and hard with the onset of jihad in Afghanistan and Kashmir. It began to be termed Talibanisation in the late 1990s. The state was affected by it; as were the big cities. Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif thought he could benefit from the new wave through the proposed 15th Amendment. But while he aspired to the purity of “Islam”, Pakistan went under a new wave of cable TV, most of it illegal, as young people, deprived of livelihood by the nuclear-induced economic plunge of 1998, started up their neighbourhood operations. Cable TV was nothing but Indian film and drama. It was an unspoken reliance on culture (or fahashi?) to offset the hardness of a more stringent and intrusive Islam. The cultural scene was becoming clearer in Pakistan. The culture war was fought by Pakistanis “with the help of India”, but it was unspoken. Religion was on the “right” side and culture was on the “wrong” side of the state. “Islam” was what the state aspired to; culture was what undermined the state by accepting “accretions” from India. What in fact was going on was Talibanisation versus Indianisation. In this war the mainstream political parties unwittingly became antagonists of the army waging the two jihads. Out of the two parties, the Muslim League interfaced readily with the warrior-priest clergy for a compromise with Talibanisation; the PPP was less able to do this. But both parties tried to normalise relations with India to lessen the supremacy of the military in Pakistan. In both cases, efforts to normalise were thwarted by the military establishment. Had the political parties succeeded, culture would have been strengthened as a force against hard religion “with the help of India”. How ironic that Pakistanis have been forced to look to Indian culture as a means of entertainment because they were denied their own forms and means. The Punjab governor has linked mental disease to lack of culture. This is what all honest psychologists will tell you unless they have grown beards like some medical doctors ready to host Al Qaeda terrorists in their clinics. He must however stand firm on the right of the people to be entertained. Where entire cities in Punjab have been lost to clerical despotism, the government must fight for their liberation. The present moment of governance under Chief Minister Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi and Governor Lieutenant-General (r) Khalid Mehmood is the right moment to do it. *

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India-Pakistan

Nuggets from the Urdu Press

2006-04-03

‘How I robbed the railways!’ Reported in the Jang, constable Nawaz confessed that he looted the railways treasury in Lahore while he was its guard and ran away with Rs 3 crore 61 lakh but was caught when he kept ringing up his colleagues in Lahore to find out if he was being investigated. He said he was an army soldier but got into the police after leaving the army. He kept trying to get posted to the treasury and finally got the job even though he had bad reports. Then he got three accomplices including one fellow constable to drug the guard and cut the safe open. He thereafter offended his accomplices by giving them a mere Rs 15,000 each and bought a bungalow in Bahawalpur for Rs 28 lakh, and got a new face and hair through plastic surgery. In all Rs 3 crore 25 lakh were found on him after he was caught through entrapment. Lahore birds too protested against Denmark According to the daily Pakistan, birds stopped coming to eat grain at Istanbul Chowk in Lahore on the great March 3 Protest Day against insult to the Prophet (pbuh). Birds are known to do ibadat and praise the Prophet (pbuh) but when the birds realised that Lahore was protesting they too absented themselves from the two special places where grain was kept for them. Be kind to us, master! Columnist Irfan Siddiqi wrote in the Nawa-e-Waqt that his request to Bush was that he should not insult us in front of others. Indoors (andar-khanay) he could treat us as roughly as he wished but in public he should pat us on the back so that our habit of slavery (khu-e-ghulam) and natural inclination to worship (fitrat-e-bandagi) could be satisfied. Whenever Bush passes through the region to do a big deal with some state or visit one of his colonies he should also call on us so that we can show off (thoon-tthan) too. Bush cornered Pakistan Reported in Khabrain, ex-ISI chief Hameed Gul said that President Bush’s March tour of India had pushed Pakistan into a corner while making India into a regional hegemon. He said Pakistan was put under pressure to vote against Iran at the IAEA and to get rid of its nuclear programme. In these circumstances Pakistan’s friendship with China had become more crucial and the Mekran Coast had become strategic. He said Manmohan’s remark about a failed state was important. To get Pakistan to do its bidding, the US may get Pakistan to hold elections in 2006. Another False prophet appears in Bhai Pheru According to the Nawa-e-Waqt a new prophet after Imam Mehdi made his appearance in Bhai Pheru near Lahore when Abdul Hamid declared that he was sent by God. He soon set up a Kaaba and started doing hajj around it while introducing his own name into the kalima. He also started doing his tabligh in the area. The people of Bhai Pheru became greatly incensed and attacked him before the police took him and locked him up. The people then stood outside the jail and wanted him to be handed over. Then the people started breaking public property to express their love for Islam, after which the police threw teargas shells at them. This caused bhagdaur (stampede) and people gathered to do some sincere property damage were greatly offended with the police. The following day the city of Qasur remained closed due to hartal by the shopkeepers and more police force was called from surrounding districts in anticipation of widespread vandalism on the part of the pious Muslims. The false prophet was taken to Lahore in a cavalcade of six cars. Imran bigger leader than Fazl and Qazi That's hard to pictue, frankly... Quoted in the daily Pakistan, secretary general PML Mushahid Hussain Syed said that by deciding to hold a protest rally on the visit of President Bush Imran Khan had increased his status, and by not attending his rally, the MMA had allowed its leaders Qazi Hussain Ahmed and Maulana Fazlur Rehman to become smaller leaders than Imran Khan. He said Imran Khan was confined because of his own security; he was no threat to the PML government. America turned Junejo’s head Historian Dr Safdar Mehmood wrote in Jang that no Pakistani ruler was legitimate unless he travelled to the United States and took a certificate from Washington. Like all rulers Muhammad Khan Junejo after becoming prime minister of Pakistan in 1985 insisted that he must visit Washington. He finally went and got his certificate of legitimacy from the US. But such visits also turned the rulers’ head. General Zia expressed his fear publicly when he said that Junejo’s head had been turned by Washington. Predictably, Junejo rebelled and Zia removed him. ‘Plotocracy’ instead of plutocracy Writing in Nawa-e-Waqt Ghiasuddin Janbaz stated that Pakistan’s bureaucracy was deeply involved in the practice of plotocracy (allotting of plots of land) and notocracy (making of currency notes), while the politicians were busy practising lotocracy (becoming ‘lota’ to change political loyalties) to accumulate more wealth. Shahid Afridi and Tablighi Jamaat Sarerahe wrote in Nawa-e-Waqt that the Tablighi Jamaat had been praying to capture Pakistan’s top cricketer Shahid Afridi to join its preaching team and this prayer was finally heard. Shahid Afridi had actually led a Tablighi Jamaat preaching team to Umar Kot in Sindh. Sarerahe said that now each sixer hit by Afridi would be an Islamic sixer. All cricketers had already become members of the Jamaat, now only Afridi was left. The prayer had been heard. Naji and Qaji Jamaat Islami leader Amirul Azim questioned columnist Nazeer Naji’s probity in selecting Qazi Hussain Ahmed and the MMA for criticism in the context of 14 February destruction of property in Lahore while protesting Danish cartoons. Naji first hinted that the religious leaders could be behind the vandalism in Lahore, then tried to create a rift between Qazi Hussain and Maulana Fazlur Rehman, the two leaders of the MMA. Finally, Naji wrote that now the world had stopped protesting the cartoons, why was protest going on in Pakistan? The truth was that the cartoon controversy was simply the outer excuse; the real protest was propelled by other conditions in Pakistan which were unacceptable to the masses. Fateh Muhammad and Kissinger and Enlightenment Columnist Masud Ashar wrote in Jang that famous Pakistani intellectual Fateh Muhammad Malik spoke at a seminar at GC University in Lahore and warned the audience that the idea of enlightenment in Pakistan was nothing but a revival of a strategy followed by Henry Kissinger. Prof Mazur Ahmad said that Pakistan needed an intellectual paradigm shift to cope with the modern world. Kasuri and Condy Rice’s leg Columnist Abbas Athar wrote in Nawa-e-Waqt that a photograph issued during President Bush’s visit to Pakistan showed foreign minister Khursheed Mahmud Kasuri talking to his American counterpart Ms Condoleeza Rice. Mr Kasuri was earnestly trying to make a point – probably telling her that Pakistan was making all-out efforts against terrorism – but he seemed actually to be talking to her leg which she had extended by putting it on her other leg.

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India-Pakistan

Nuggets from the Urdu press

2006-03-11

Jamaat collected dollars from America ANP leader Bashir Bilour was quoted in Khabrain as saying that the Jamaat Islami declared that the Afghan war was jihad for the sake of serving America. It collected dollars and got the Pakhtuns killed. Had the clerics not sided with America in its war against the Soviet Union, the blood of the Muslims would not have flowed later on. He said that simple Pashtuns were made sacrificial lambs. Gates of Paradise open in Pakpattan According to Khabrain, the Gates of Paradise at the shrine of Baba Farid in Pakpattan were opened on the urs of the saint and 100,000 people passed through them each night. In Pakpattan, the place where the saint and poet Baba Farid lived, people lined up for miles to be able to pass through the Gates. Every year there is bhagdar (stampede) which kills people but this year there was mo bhagdar. Politicians without issues Ex-speaker National Assembly Sahibzada Farooq Ali Khan wrote in the daily Pakistan that after 1988, Ms Benazir Bhutto forgot the party ideology and fought elections on the simple fact that she was the daughter of a hanged prime minister. She did not put before the nation the ideas in which the party had believed. In the end, both Nawaz Sharif and Ms Bhutto had the same political vision. In Pakistan most politicians were of small stature but came to power through the patronage of the generals. Don’t stay long, Bush! Sarerahe stated in Nawa-e-Waqt that President Bush was going to be three days in India but a few hours in Pakistan. In Pakistan only those who specialise in welcoming VIPs will welcome Bush since the rest of the nation would think it a major sin (gunah kabira) to say welcome to him. In fact, he should curtail his visit to three hours to claim half of what President Clinton stayed for when he visited Pakistan. Fake Imam Mehdi makes victory sign According to the Nawa-e-Waqt, the fake Imam Mehdi who made his appearance in Faisalabad in December 2005 was sentenced to death by an anti-terrorism judge of Faisalabad. When he heard the sentence, fake Imam Mehdi Shehbaz Ahmad said he was enjoying the sentence (anjwae kar raha hun). His followers were given life sentences. One fainted after hearing the sentence. According to Khabrain the fake Imam also made the victory sign. The followers said that Shehbaz was their owner and they could not abandon him as that would make them sinners before God. An assessment of the economy Columnist Irfan Siddiqi challenged the claims of the government in Nawa-e-Waqt that Pakistan was progressing economically. His assessment went like this: ‘The tradition of wearing white clothes (safed-poshi) was losing its image. Starvation (faqa-kashi) was a common sight. The trend to commit suicide had increased. The middle class was being wiped out. The cobra (shish-nag) of poverty was snarling. Unemployment was on the rise. The whiplashes of high prices were raining on the bare backs of the people. And yet in spite of all this the economy was supposed to have reached its acme (bam-e-uruj) in stability. India permanent foe Writing in the Jang, Mukhtar Ahmad Butt stated that Pakistan had to deal with a neighbour that never accepted it from its heart. India always tried to harm Pakistan in one way or another. It responded to Pakistan’s efforts at establishing friendly relations with obstinacy and procrastination. Kashmir was the living example of India’s policy of hostility towards Pakistan. Pakpattan no paradise at all! Writing in the Jang, columnist Rehmat Ali Razi stated that Pakpattan, where the Gates of Paradise opened on every urs of Baba Farid, was no paradise. The city of 150,000 had hardly any roads which were intact. The load of the additional population of visiting devotees (100,000) paralysed the city with all roads blocked. The only two hotels closed down because no one could get to them as roads filled up with filth. The city had no garbage collection but when the visitors of Paradise arrived, filth accumulated on the streets which ran with the urine of the devotees. When the devotees filed through the Gateway to Heaven they brought excrement and urine with their feet which then clung to the tomb of Baba Farid. Punish insulters of all prophets! Daily Pakistan quoted PML chief Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain as saying that Europe and the West should pass a law punishing insulters of all prophets including Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). If the West did not do this then more insult published in Europe would lead to disastrous consequences. Insulting cartoons avenged in Mandi Bahauddin Reported in the Jang, mobs in Mandi Bahauddin came out beating their breasts and hurling stones at passing trains and burning tyres in the streets of the city. The mobs also cried in pain on the insult of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) in Europe and burnt cars while breaking the windshields of many. They also wept profusely and stoned all public buildings while breaking glass at the petrol pump stations. Sensing the success of the mobs in Mandi Bahauddin, the political opposition announced an all-party day of protest on 3 March 2006. Meanwhile every party would hold aggressive rallies throughout the month of February to mark Islamic grief at the insult of the Prophet (pbuh) in Europe through the publication of cartoons. Opposition also demanded that ambassadors of all offending European countries be sent packing and Pakistan embassies removed from there. Pindi Bhattian up in arms after Quran desecration According to the Nawa-e-Waqt, in Pindi Bhattian people were outraged to find pages of the Holy Quran in the street. They took out an angry procession and went to the police station. The police at once took the pages in its control and registered a case. But the people were not satisfied as they wanted to burn public property to express their grief. The clerics warned from the mosques that if the culprits were not caught the people would destroy public property. Ijazul Haq’s recipe Religion minister Ijazul Haq stated in the daily Din that if Pakistan and other Islamic states were to snap relations with the European countries that had offended by publishing insulting cartoons, then the offending states would suffer economically and will pledge never to insult the Muslims again by publishing cartoons. ‘Sardar Qayyum got me to Israel’! Quoted in Khabrain Maulana Ajmal Qadiri said that he had contacts with Israel which were helped by the Azad Kashmiri leader Sardar Qayyum. He said America had finalised its plans to attack Iran. He added that he was ready once again to go to Israel to further consolidate his contacts there. Old leaders and new Ex-speaker of the National Assembly, Sahibzada Farooq Ali Khan, wrote in the daily Pakistan that old leaders like Liaquat Ali Khan, Suhrawardi, Khwaja Nazimuddin, II Chundrigar and Muhammad Ali Bogra made their departure from politics without enriching their families. The daughter of Suhrawardi had to be given a stipend by the government. The new leaders were different. Ayub Khan was followed by his rich son Gauhar Ayub. Zia was followed by his rich son Ijazul Haq. Bhutto was followed by Benazir and Nawaz Sharif’s family was now powerful because of the wealth of being in power.

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Syria-Lebanon-Iran

Is Ahmadinejad on a messianic mission?

2005-12-31

With negotiations over Iran's nuclear program looming once again, understanding Iran's new president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is critically important. Perhaps the best place to start is the moment the world first gained a glimpse of Ahmadinejad's character and hard-line program. When Ahmadinejad addressed the United Nations in New York last September, he suddenly felt himself surrounded by light. It wasn't the stage lighting, he said. It was light from heaven. Ahmadinejad related his otherworldly experience in a videotaped meeting with a prominent ayatollah in Tehran. A transcript of his comments and sections of the videotape wound up on a hard-line, pro-regime Web site, baztab.com. According to the transcript, Ahmadinejad said a member of his entourage at the UN meeting first told him of the light. "When you began with the words 'In the name of God'... I saw a light coming, surrounding you and protecting you to the end [of the speech]." Ahmadinejad confirmed sensing a similar presence. "I felt it myself, too, that suddenly the atmosphere changed and for 27-28 minutes the leaders could not blink... They had their eyes and ears open for the message from the Islamic Republic," he told Ayatollah Javadi-Amoli. Ahmadinejad's "vision" at the UN could be dismissed as political posturing if it weren't for a string of similar statements and actions that suggest he believes that he is destined to bring about the "end times" - the end of the world - by paving the way for the return of the Shiite Muslim messiah. Given that Iran continues to pursue suspect nuclear programs, which could bring the Islamic Republic dangerously close to a weapons capability, a leader with messianic visions is worrying. After all, this is the same man who recently pledged to use Iran's newfound powers to "wipe Israel off the map" and to "destroy America." In a November 16 speech in Tehran to senior clerics who had come from all over Iran to hear him, the new president said that the main mission of his government was to "pave the path for the glorious reappearance of Imam Mehdi (may God hasten his reappearance)." The mystical 12th imam of Shiite Islam disappeared as a child in 941, and Twelver Shiites have awaited his reappearance ever since, believing that when he returns he will reign on earth for seven years, before bringing about the Last Judgment and the end of the world. To prepare for the Mehdi, Ahmadinejad said, "Iran should turn into a mighty, advanced, and model Islamic society." Iranians should "refrain from leaning toward any Western school of thought" and abstain from "luxurious lives" and other excesses. Three months into Ahmadinejad's presidency, his views of the 12th imam are being widely discussed in Tehran. According to one rumor, as mayor of Tehran, Ahmadinejad drew up a new city plan for the imam's return. In recent weeks, Ahmadinejad's aides have denied another rumor that he ordered his Cabinet to write a pact of loyalty with the 12th imam and throw it down a well near the holy city of Qom, where some believe the imam is hiding. Those who give credence to the rumor point to an early decision of his Cabinet to allocate $17 million to renovate the Jamkaran mosque, where devotees of the 12th imam have prayed for centuries. Similarly, reports in government media outlets in Tehran have quoted Ahmadinejad as having told regime officials that the Hidden Imam will reappear in two years. This proved too much for one Iranian legislator, Akbar Alami, who publicly questioned Ahmadinejad's judgment, saying that even Islam's holiest figures have never made such claims. While many Shiite Muslims worship the 12th imam, a previously secret society of powerful clerics, now openly advising the new president, is transforming these messianic beliefs into government policies. Led by Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi, who frequently appears with Ahmadinejad, the Hojatieh society is considered by many Shiites as the lunatic fringe. During the early years of the Islamic Revolution, even Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini found their beliefs too extreme and sent them scurrying underground. As devotees of the 12th imam, the Hojatieh believe only great tribulation will warrant his coming. Akin in some ways to Lenin's doctrine that worsening social conditions would hasten revolution, the Hojatieh believe that only increased violence, conflict and oppression will bring the Mehdi's return. Since taking office last August, Ahmadinejad has installed Hojatieh devotees in his Cabinet and throughout the bureaucracy. The Ministry of Information and Security, largely sidelined by former President Mohammed Khatami, has re-emerged as a powerful repressive force, using plainclothes agents, allied with the paramilitary Bassij and non-government vigilantes, to crack down on potential opponents of the regime. As the world prepares to confront an Iranian regime that continues to defy the International Atomic Energy Agency over its nuclear programs, we must listen to what Iran's leaders say as we watch what they do. A religious zealot with nuclear weapons is a dangerous combination the world cannot afford to tolerate.

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India-Pakistan

Gohar Shahi group funding ‘Imam Mehdi’ network

2005-12-28

Shahbaz Khan, the self-proclaimed ‘Imam Mehdi’, and his followers are being funded by Younas Al-Gohar, the founder of Gohar Shahi group, who lives in the United Kingdom, sources in the investigation team told Daily Times. Sources said that the investigators had also forwarded a report to higher authorities demanding Interpol help to arrest Younas. Shahbaz told investigators that British national Younas, who is a billionaire and an expert hypnotist, was their main financer. Shahbaz was also learning hypnotism from Younas. I'm starting to get really interested in this story, even though it doesn't make a lick of sense. Younas, I'm convinced, is surrounded by fanatical minions. He can freeze a strong man with a single glance, and he has a grip of steel. He drops his enemies into pits full of hungry alligators. He punishes minions with death for the slightest screwup. He has a beautiful daughter named Fatimah, who favors 4-inch, blood red fingernails and slinky dresses. Her maid's name is Mei-ling, and Fatimah abuses her. Younas has Professor Hodgkiss locked in a tower, where he's forced to work on the tsunami machine. If he doesn't, his beautiful daughter Cynthia will be ravished by Mungo, Younas' hunchback. Secret Agent Armstrong has been trying to infiltrate Gohar Shahi so he can rescue Cynthia and Professor Hodgkiss and destroy the tsunami machine that devastated Sumatra last year. He's got a sidekick named Gus, who says all sorts of amusing things... Sources said that Shehbaz told the investigators that he had also been publishing a newspaper, Hatif Mehdi. He said that he was in contact with Younas through mind rays email and gave investigators five email addresses belonging to his advisers. Shahbaz said that their group was working in Europe under the titles of AFSM and ARGO to preach their new religion through two websites. That's where they get all their fanatical minions. We can't publish the URLs, 'cuz if you go there you'll be hypnotized with one look. You won't even make it past the popups, so don't even try... Sources said that Shahbaz was a follower of Gohar Shahi and Younas chose him for his activities after the death of Gohar Shahi. Gohar Shahi, of course, isn't really dead. He's actually being held in the dungeon. Mei-ling brings him something to eat once a week. She's fallen in love with him, because he's actually a kindly old man... Shahbaz said that Younas ordered him to return to Pakistan and announce the new religion. It takes some kind of evil genius to announce a new religion in Pakistan. Do it in Copenhagen and nobody pays attention... He arranged a new setup in the last six months with the collaboration of his previous Gohar Shahi network. They think the old man is dead, but they all went to the website to read the obituary and that was it — now they're all myrmidons... Shahbaz told investigators that he was trying to recruit poor people to his cause. He and his followers would attract people through money and other facilities. They also preached to their followers about a free society in which anyone can have sex with any woman of his choice. Younas, y'see, is kinda physically unattractive, for all his billions. That's the only way he can get laid... Shahbaz said that they were working under different names including Hizb-e-Riaz, Mehdi Foundation, Deen-e-Younas, Deen-e-Elahi, Sarkari Sufi and Anjuman-e-Sarfoshan-e-Islam. Sometimes they refer to themselves as SPECTRE, and sometimes as KAOS. Every once in awhile they call themselves Boskone, but only on special occasions... Sources said that the culprits were also in contact with their supreme leaders in Hyderabad “where they have set up a state titled Khuda Ki Basti”. They've got a golden idol they sacrifice goats and sometimes virgins to, when they can get ahold of them. It's only got one eye, a great big jewel that Baron von Schtinken was trying to steal... “They invite their followers there to go on Haj and give them travelling and other expenses,” sources added. Some, of course, never return... Shahbaz also confessed to hypnotising people and giving them hashish. "Whoa! Good weed, man!" "You like it? You can learn all about it at this URL..." I think Shahbaz tried to sell me a bumper sticker outside of Barnes & Noble the other day. Younas has obviously figgered out that the secret to success lies in becoming a Multi-Level Mullah. It's kinda like Amway, only with live ammo and no customer satisfaction guarantee.

Link

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