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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Paris Hilton - Shanna Moakler Punch-out
2006-10-05
Can Travis Barker really make women go this crazy? His estranged wife, Shanna Moakler, was involved in a nightclub fracas with Paris Hilton early Wednesday morning. Barker, the drummer for Blink-182, filed for divorce in August from Moakler, a former beauty queen who was recently voted off "Dancing With the Stars."

“Hilton says Moakler walked up to her, "used the most vile of language" and then punched her in her jaw.”
In September, Barker was apparently videotaped kissing Hilton, who needs no introduction. Then Hilton encountered Moakler at the Hyde club in Hollywood last night. The following reenactment is based on reports by police, publicists for both women, but unfortunately no pugilistic experts: Hilton says Moakler walked up to her, "used the most vile of language" and then punched her in her jaw.

“Moakler contends Hilton's ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos bent Moakler's wrists, poured a drink on her and shoved her down some stairs.”
Moakler contends she exchanged mere profanities with Hilton, at which point Hilton's ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos emerged from the entourage, bent Moakler's wrists, poured a drink on her and shoved her down some stairs. Hilton, 25, and Moakler, 31, both filed police reports alleging battery. Officer Karen Smith said police took pictures of Moakler and Hilton at the station, and that police planned to speak with witnesses at the club as part of their investigation.

TMZ.com posted video of Barker and Hilton making out in a New York nightclub last month. Hilton's publicist, Elliot Mintz, said the two are "just friends."
Moakler and the tattooed punk rocker Barker were an unlikely pair when they married in 2004, documenting their lavish wedding and life on the MTV reality show "Meet the Barkers." They had two children. Moakler also has a 7-year-old daughter with boxer Oscar De La Hoya. TMZ.com posted what it said was video of Barker and Hilton making out in a New York nightclub last month. But Hilton's publicist, Elliot Mintz, said the two are "just friends."
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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Hilton's CD Instant Tanker
2006-08-31
Paris Hilton's career as a pop star is fizzling as quickly as one of her blink-and-you'll-miss-it relationships. In its first week out of the gate, Hilton's first CD is being widely seen as a certified flop. "Paris," which features the single "Stars Are Blind," sold a lackluster 75,000 copies in the United States - a pittance compared to Christina Aguilera's first-week sales of 320,000, according to Soundscan. And projected sales for next week are said to be a measly 30,000, which is a larger than normal second week drop. "Paris" is languishing at the bottom of Billboard's Hot 100 - so Hilton's label rushed out her second single, "Turn It Up," which isn't doing very well either.
That makes sense. I guess. In a Paris Hilton kind of way.
"The international outlook is not much better for her," one industry source told Page Six. "The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can't back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can't sing live."
If she can't sing at all, she can't sing live...
The source added that Hilton was advised a year ago to train her voice, work with choreographers and learn an instrument to prepare for a limited tour, but "obviously she didn't listen."
"I'd love to, but I'm booked up..."
Hilton's rep, Elliot Mintz, said, "To me, [the album] sounds huge. For a newcomer, this is incredibly impressive."
"Yeah! Tell 'em, Mintzie!"
Meanwhile, Hilton's reputation as a slut dirty girl put one of her former sex partners on edge after they'd been to bed together. Elijah Blue Allman, the hunky son of Cher and Gregg Allman, boasted to Howard Stern the other day that he had a fling with Hilton before she was famous - but he got nervous right afterward that he might have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from her. Allman says he was so worried, he raced downstairs and grabbed a household cleaning product to pour over his private parts and "disinfect" them.
"Mom! Where's the Clorox?"
While Stern flipped over the tawdry tale, aired over his Sirius Satellite Radio raunchfest show, Hilton wasn't thrilled with the disclosure. "She's not happy about it," said a source, despite the fact Allman tried to lessen the low blow by noting she was a "sweet girl" nonetheless.
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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Paris Hilton Bitten by Pet Kinkajou
2006-08-12
Paris Hilton got no love this week from her pet kinkajou Baby Luv — in fact, the racoon-like animal bit her. The heiress was not badly hurt but did visit a hospital emergency room to receive a tetanus shot, her publicist, Elliot Mintz, told The Associated Press on Friday. Hilton was frolicking with her exotic pet early Tuesday morning "the way some people play with their cats and dogs" when the animal became excited, Mintz said.
"So how'd ya get bit on the butt, Miss Hilton?"
"I was frolicking with my kinkajou."
"Yep. That'll do it every time."
"Baby Luv bit her. It's a superficial bite on her butt left arm," he said. Hilton, concerned that she was bleeding, called Mintz at 3 a.m., and he took her to the hospital.
"It's 3 a.m. and I can't sleep... Hmmm... I'm out of sleeping pills and the pool boy's gone home. I think I'll frolic with my kinkajou."
"She was seen by a doctor, who treated the wound, gave her a tetanus shot, cleaned the wound and applied something to it," Mintz said. The 25-year-old "Simple Life" star and her publicist left the hospital around 5:30 a.m.
"Remember, Paris: All publicity is good publicity."
"Yeah. Getting bit on the butt by a kinkajou's good publicity. That's why I pay you so much, Mintzy."
Mintz said Hilton's butt arm did not appear to be swollen the next day. Baby Luv was checked out by a veterinarian Wednesday. "I don't view kinkajous as aggressive animals. The same kind of thing could have occurred frolicking with a German Shepherd," Mintz said.
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