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2026-09-09 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Hunter Biden launching a laptop-themed cryptocurrency

[FoxBusiness] The token will launch on the Base blockchain Wednesday, with 20% distributed to those who lost money on Trump's $TRUMP coin

Hunter Biden is teasing the launch of a cryptocurrency meme coin inspired by his notorious laptop as his next business venture.

"$LAPTOP September 9," Biden wrote Monday on X, sharing a video of media reports referencing infamous computer that was left at a Delaware repair shop before its contents were released in an October surprise during the 2020 presidential election.

$LAPTOP will launch Wednesday on the Base ledger under Coinbase Global, sources told The Wall Street Journal.

Biden teased his latest financial foray back in June in an X post, where he denounced many of President Donald Trump's initiatives and called them a distraction.

"Things we’re told to fight about: Me. Laptop. Vaccines. Transgenders in sports. Pronouns," Biden wrote on June 5.

"Fiat is a sham, the banking class is corrupt, decentralized digital currency and the blockchain are the inevitable future, and the incumbents will fight it to the death," he added in a reply.

Meme coins are not backed by underlying protocols or utility, deriving value almost entirely from social media hype, viral trends and speculative sentiment, making them unpredictable assets where prices can crash as quickly as they surge.

There will reportedly be 1 billion $Laptop tokens issued, with 30% held by Biden and the founders and locked for six months, fully vesting in two years. Another 20% of the tokens will be distributed in two batches to holders who lost money on Trump’s $TRUMP meme coin, as well as subscribers to Biden’s Substack.

The other half billion tokens will go to liquidity and operations (20%) and 30% to a deflationary "event burn" on 30 real-world triggers over a specified timeframe — including whether a Democrat wins the 2028 presidential election, Bitcoin reaches a new all-time high, or $LAPTOP’s valuation flips $TRUMP, according to the Journal.

In a July Substack, Hunter Biden detailed the story of his infamous laptop and how it chronicled his struggles with addition.

"So. The laptop. Here is what was on it. Twenty years of my life, or a version of it," he wrote on X. "Messages sent at hours that don't belong to anyone sober. Photographs I would never have taken in daylight. A record of every way a body can fail its owner when the owner has stopped trying to help. None of it is a single dramatic moment. It is accumulation, the slow daily work of an addict doing the thing that is killing him because the alternative feels like dying faster."

"All of that was on it," he said. "I am not denying any of it."

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