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2026-10-09 Home Front: Politix
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Barack Obama and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad News Cycle
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[PJ] Few things bring me more workday pleasure than an opportunity to mock The Lightbringer, the man whose very nomination caused the oceans to stop rising (or maybe stop receding), healed our racial divisions (except for those tricksy Jews and also white guys), and ushered in "a new way of being on the planet."
Of course, it's even more pleasurable when I don't have to think about Barack Obama at all, but he was never one of those "absence makes the heart grow fonder" people, so I have to leap on those mocking opportunities whenever they present themselves.
Today, for example, when I do believe I'll celebrate filing this column by shaking myself a martini.
Shall we begin?
The setup began Monday with a news item you're probably already well aware of. Despite polls showing Michigan Islamo-Commie Democrat Abdul El-Sayed with an insurmountable 417-point lead over his rival, that Republican dude that nobody is 100% certain is actually running.
Campaigns comfortably in the lead don't interrupt Obama from doing whatever it is he does these days — occasionally scold black men and count his Netflix money, I think — for a joint campaign stop on the first day of early voting.
That planned October 24 joint campaign appearance might get a little awkward, given what we just learned SAYED! really thought about the Lightbringer's performance as president.
And Another Thing: My editor assures me that there is a Republican nominee, that his name is Mike Rogers, and that he's been both on the campaign trail and occasionally (but only very occasionally) in the news. My editor also says that Al-Sayed now just uses "SAYED!" in his campaign materials. So, kind of like Madonna, but instead of getting you out on the dance floor, Madonna wanted to force you onto a prayer mat and confiscate your wealth.
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Posted by Besoeker 2026-10-09 02:14||
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