[Bee] U.S. — In a corroboration of what many had long suspected, a new report finally confirmed that the holiday of Kwanzaa has been revealed to be an elaborate prank on white people.While experts had wondered for decades if the manufactured holiday was just a clever inside joke to mess with caucasians, it wasn't until a bombshell exposé revealed the complex ruse for what it was all along.
"Yeah, you got us," said black dude Achonte Ndukwe. "We all held a secret meeting back in the late '60s to figure out what we could do to mess with white people. It was decided that making up a holiday out of thin air was the best way to do it. That's how Kwanzaa was born. We honestly didn't think we'd keep the prank going this long, but everyone kept falling for it, so we just went with it. It's hilarious."
In addition to admitting that everything Kwanzaa involves — a special table, the lighting of candles, and a celebratory feast — was just random ideas added to the prank, Ndukwe confirmed that nobody even knew what the word "Kwanzaa" meant. "We thought it was made up," he said. "Somebody told us later that it's actually Swahili for something, but we had no idea. It was just a vaguely African-sounding word. It really had you guys going for a long time, didn't it?"
At publishing time, black people had also finally confirmed that they don't really like Tyler Perry movies either, but have just been pretending to enjoy them just to confuse the rest of the world.