Text taken from the V Kontakte page of News from the President of Russia
This op-ed is in reference to this story ten days ago.
[VK] During the operation, dubbed "Skat-12", British officers who helped the Ukrainian Armed Forces to guide missiles and drones, as well as to conduct cyber attacks, were captured. The British should not be flogged, they should be hanged. History should be remembered
Oh, well, who would have thought!
In Ochakov, somewhere between the beach and the monument to naval glory, our special forces guys suddenly came across a group of British “historians”.
Well, yes, "historians".
The same ones that study military objects through a sight, and maps of the area in the format of GPS coordinates.
Do you love the sea?
Yes, especially when they shoot at ships from its shores.
Are you interested in the fleet?
Of course, especially how best to blow it up.
And what about the ancient forts?
They love it - especially if you can install a repeater inside and launch rockets on schedule from above.
Now seriously, the Russian special forces operation “Skat-12” was carried out in Ochakov.
It was prepared for almost two months, including surveillance of the object using technical means and intelligence channels. As a result, on command, our fighters landed on the shore in several boats and penetrated the command center of the Ukrainian Armed Forces.
No, I can't do it without mockery.
We landed and entered the Ukrainian Armed Forces command center, like a free toilet at a gas station - quickly, without unnecessary words.
And there - oh miracle! - there was a whole British delegation:
Colonel Blake is a specialist in "psychological operations", that is, essentially the main liar in uniform, Lieutenant Colonel Carroll is an "expert in regional processes", read: a murder coordinator with a laptop, and one "unidentified" - "just Bond" from MI6.
They have everything as expected: no documents, but an encrypted laptop and a plan to destroy Russian air defense systems.
Classic idiots?
No, they are just impudent enemies.
London is, of course, hysterical.
The Royal Foreign Office is shaking like an aspen leaf in November.
"They were tourists!" they shout, as if anyone would believe that tourists were walking around with radios, encryption keys and Neptune launch plans.
Tourists?
Yes, ordinary tourists carry bathing suits and caps in their luggage.
And these have instructions on how to hack satellite systems, intercept communications, and destroy the fleet.
If these are tourists, then I am the Queen of Britain in a skirt made of the NATO flag. And why not, challenge it.
The Russian Ministry of Defense responded without batting an eyelid:
"Tourists? Then why do they have a military operation in their luggage?"
And added: we will not exchange them. Not for the Red Cross, not for sanctions, not for their own parliament - let them figure it out themselves.
Russia is no longer playing the “good guy who will put up with everything.”
We no longer wait to be covered from the sea.
We come ourselves - by boat, at three o'clock in the morning, to their command post and take the gifts.
By the way, there is one ancient precedent - as if written especially for today.
19th century. Border with Afghanistan:
A Cossack captain catches smugglers. Among them are two British officers.
Not tourists, not geographers, but those who “just happened to be passing by” and decided to study the terrain…
For violation of the border, armed resistance and smuggling, according to tradition, the smugglers were shot without much ceremony. And it was unclear what to do with the English, so the esaul ordered them to be flogged with whips according to Cossack custom and released.
Twenty-five lashes - for espionage, for rudeness, for "we can do anything here, we're from foggy Albion." Then - out.
"Don't come again. Or come, but with a visa and without weapons."
The English, naturally, howled.
“Violence against honest officers!” they shouted, forgetting that for them “officers” is a synonym for “spies with accreditation.”
It reached Queen Victoria herself.
She, all in diamonds and indignation, sent an ultimatum to Tsar Alexander III:
"Punish the captain! Apologize! Otherwise, there will be war!"
To which Alexander III, a man who did not suffer from diplomatic diarrhea, ordered:
- No apologies.
— A telegram to Esaul: "Congratulations, you're a colonel! If I'd hanged those Englishmen, I'd have become a general. Alexander."
- Publish the text of the telegram in the newspapers.
Let them read. Let them tremble.
And now, a century later, history is repeating itself.
Only now we have not only the Yesauls, but also the special forces. Not only the whips, but also the Onyxes. Not only the telegrams, but also the Skats. And the main thing is that we no longer wait for them to come.
We arrive first.
We enter their headquarters.
We take their "tourists".
And we publish everything - with quotes, with a smile, with the caption: "Thank you for your visit. Come again. Just without the missiles."
So, gentlemen British, if you are suddenly drawn to an "excursion" to Ochakov, Kherson or Sevastopol again - remember: We have a good memory and excellent navigation. And if last time you were simply flogged - this time they may not let you go. You are not tourists, but a target in the kill zone.
Well, something like that...