Dramatic footage shows the terrifying moment two Chinese vessels smashed into each other while chasing a Philippine patrol boat in the South China Sea. Three words: "Har har har!"
The navy and coastguard ships collided today near the contested Scarborough Shoal, an atoll around 140 miles east of the main Philippine island of Luzon and more than 500 miles southeast of Hong Kong.
The official word Chinese word for their country is "Chung Guo," which means "Central Kingdom." That seems to give them title to whatever strikes their fancy.
The collection of reefs, rocks and a lagoon - covering around 58 square miles - has historically been claimed by both China and the Philippines.
Not too sure why they're entitled to something 500 miles south of Hong Kong and almost within walking distance of the Phillipines, but what do I know?
The crash happened as the Philippine Coast Guard (PCG) was escorting boats distributing aid to fishermen in the area, PCG spokesperson Commodore Jay Tarriela said.
Ahah! I got it! The Chinese were delivering Admiral Tso's Chicken to the fishermen and didn't want to be interrupted.
He added the Chinese Coastguard (CCG) vessel 3104 was 'chasing' the Philippine craft, known as the BRP Suluan, 'at high speed'.
It was a rush order, y'see.
It soon 'performed a risky manoeuvre' from the starboard side of the Philippine vessel, he continued, 'leading to the impact with the PLA [People's Liberation Army] Navy warship'.
"Starboard" is navy-speak for "right hand."
CCG crew members were visible on the front of the craft - the section that hit the battleship - just moments before the collision, he said. Their fate is not known.
Sounds (briefly) painful though.
The CCG vessel was 'rendered unseaworthy' in the smash, which appeared to happen incredibly close to the PCG craft.
"Rendered unseaworthy" sounds a lot like "totaled."
NEW: Chinese Coast Guard ship crashes into a Chinese navy destroyer as the two ships were both chasing a Philippine coast guard ship in the South China Sea.
— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) August 11, 2025
Yikes.
Philippine patrol boats were escorting dozens of fishing boats when Chinese ships tried to intimidate them by… pic.twitter.com/7YxGdPv10A