[PJMedia] Megan Rapinoe among ’trailblazing’ women replacing Victoria’s Secret angelsIf James Bond were real, he’d be dead before the opening credits.
I thought she wanted to look like a man.
But you know — and maybe even love — the routine.
Most every Bond movie opens with Bond finishing up his previous, off-screen adventure with some daring stunt, followed by the sexy opening credits and the new movie’s new theme song.
At the end, after Bond is done saving the world from some unlikely villain, he beds the woman with the unlikely name in some unlikely locale.
Cue the main theme and closing credits.
Insanity Wrap used the word "routine" to describe the contrivances of a typical Bond movie, but they’re really anything but.
Bond movies sell a fantasy, an escape from routine.
There’s nothing believable about an unkillable secret agent with a license to kill, whose corny lines somehow always get the women into bed with him.
Women, as they say, want Bond, and men want to be Bond.
The fact that no man is Bond (and, sadly, no woman is actually Plenty O’Toole) isn’t important.
People enjoy the fantasy. People need the escape.
Does every woman who buys something for herself look like a Victoria’s Secret Angel? No, but that’s beside the point.
And when a man buys something for his woman from Vicky’s, that doesn’t mean he’s dating an Angel. That’s beside the point, too.
Victoria’s Secret is in the same business as Eon Productions — the company behind the Bond movies. They sell fantasy.
Seeing Rapinoe in Victoria Secret is not any fantasy of mine.
Part of that fantasy is the models — affectionately known as "Angels" — who are as nearly as unlikely human specimens as James Bond.
So when our friend and colleague Stacey Lennox forwarded us a report that crybaby National Women’s Soccer League star Megan Rapinoe would be modeling for troubled fantasy retailer Victoria’s Secret, Insanity Wrap got a bitter little laugh out of it.
When Stacey went on to say, "One of my followers asked why they were replacing pretty models with ’eye broccoli,'" we actually, literally, really howled.
We aren’t certain that fashion mag Marie Claire meant to be so indelicate, but they headlined the story with "Victoria’s Secret is replacing angels with advocates."
Fantasy is no longer allowed. You’ll get your lingerie and a lecture, instead.
Not even George Lazenby and Later Roger Moore combined were enough to destroy the Bond movie franchise, but Insanity Wrap is certain that replacing Angels with Advocates will be the final nail in Vicky’s swiftly closing casket.
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