[Daily Caller] SPRINGFIELD, Mass.- Move over, carbon-neutral birthday parties. There’s a new popular way to celebrate for the country’s trendy progressive families: Gender declaration parties for teenage children.The new phenomenon is a natural outgrowth of one of the latest trends in progressive parenting: Intentionally obscuring the gender of one’s children. Parents, frustrated by a society where people are declared "boys" or "girls" simply because they have penises or vaginas, are fighting back by opting out entirely and waiting until children have grown wise enough to choose a gender for themselves. Typically, this point is reached when a child is able to complete Algebra II, and it is accompanied by a big party comparable to bar mitzvahs or high school graduation parties.
Like other progressive parents, Bryce and Priscilla Hawkins-Hart of Springfield, Mass. did everything they could to keep their "penis-child" Taylor from being pressured into one gender or another. In addition to Taylor’s androgynous name, they insisted on using the gender-neutral pronoun zhe, painted zher room a monochrome grey, and forced zhim to play with both dolls and toy trucks while growing up.
"I remember when the doctor told me ‘It’s a boy!'" Bryce told The Daily Caller. "I just said to him, ‘Well, we’ll see about that!’ Then, I reported that doctor for child abuse for trying to force a gender onto young children."