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-Election 2012

Texas Vows To Arrest UN Election Observers

2012-10-26

Texas authorities have threatened to arrest international election observers, prompting a furious response from the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE).
"Y'ain't from around here, air yew?"
"The threat of criminal sanctions against [international] observers is unacceptable," Janez Lenarèiè, the Director of the OSCE Office for Democratic Institutions and Human Rights (ODIHR), ~~sputtered~~ said in a statement. "The United States, like all countries in the OSCE, has an obligation to invite ODIHR observers to observe its elections.
"Yew cain't go in unless y'r gonna vote or y'r a poll worker. Which air yew?"
"I'm a Special Rapporteur!"
"That ain't neither o' them. So stay outside!"
Lawmakers from the group of 56 European and Central Asian nations have been observing U.S. elections since 2002, without incident. Their presence has become a flashpoint this year, however, as Republicans accuse Democrats of voter fraud while Democrats counter that GOP-inspired voter ID laws aim to disenfranchise minority voters.
"You don't need a photo ID to cash a check, do you? And you don't need a photo ID to get on a plane! Why should you need a photo ID to vote?"
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott further fueled the controversy on Tuesday when he sent a letter to the OSCE warning the organization that its representatives "are not authorized by Texas law to enter a polling place" and that it "may be a criminal offense for OSCE's representatives to maintain a presence within 100 feet of a polling place's entrance."
"Tex?"
"Yeah, Tex?"
"Git a rope!"

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