That may be the unexpurgated and barely edited headline of the year.[Daily Mail] A man died after falling off a bucket of mayonnaise and stabbing himself in the heart with an electric drill.
Ayup. Y'don't see that'n every day...
Araz Saleh, 23, was balancing on the industrial-sized bucket while drilling a hole in a wall when he slipped, accidentally driving the power tool into his chest.
"You ain't got a ladder for me to stand on?"
"Nope."
"A step stool?"
"Nope."
"Whaddya got?"
"A bucket of mayonnaise."
"That ain't big enough!"
"It's a giant bucket of mayonnaise!"
An inquest at Oxford Coroner's Court heard the 23-year-old was fixing metal panels to the side of a friend's fast food kiosk when he lost his footing.
"My footing! I've lost it! I'm fallingggggggggg!
He had been balancing with one foot on the bucket and the other on a table.
"Araz! Are you sure that's safe?"
"I'm balancing with one foot on a giant bucket of mayo and the other on a table with wheels for feet. What could go wrong?"
As he fell his left shoulder hit a wall
[BUMP!] "My shoulder!"
and the drill,
"rrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRR!"
which was in his hand, was pressed into his chest.
"My chest! Aaaiiieee! The pain!"
His friend Salam Kiras said: 'Then I saw blood gushing out.'
"Hey! Watch it! That stuff's getting in the couscous!"
He told how he tried desperately to stem the blood flow before running to a nearby kebab shop to get help.
"Lemme try to stem the blood flow! How about this thing?... Whoa! Popped it right out!... How about the end of the mop handle?... Hmpf! Tilted right over! Maybe I should push it in a little further?"
"Aaaiiieee!"
"Don't go nowhere! I'm gonna get help!"
"Where?"
"At the kabob shop, where else?"
Staff in the kebab shop raised the alarm
"ALARM! ALARM!"
with paramedics who rushed to the scene, in Gloucester Green, Oxford.
"We're trained medical professionals! Who needs help?"
"The guy on the floor, with the mop handle in his chest!"
Mr Saleh, of Greater Leys, Oxford, was taken to the John Radcliffe Hospital where he died the following day, December 1, 2010.
"He's dead, Jim!"
Detective Inspector Suzette Allcorn told the inquest at Oxford: 'It was an incredibly unusual injury. But there was no evidence of any foul play, and the police conclusion was that this was a
Coroner Nicholas Gardiner recorded a verdict of accidental death.