Step One: No Marvin Gaye songs...Tiger Woods is getting treatment at a top sex addiction program in Hattiesburg, Miss., sources have told RadarOnline.com exclusively.
"Well, sports fans, I'm off to Hattiesburg to have my sex life rehabbed!"
"G'bye, Tiger! We'll miss you! Here's something to remember us by!"
"Wow! Nice undies! Maybe I should leave tomorrow...?"
The troubled golf great checked into Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services, sources say. The clinic, considered one of the top in the nation for sexual addiction, is directed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, who has pioneered treatment for sexually compulsive behavior.
"He looks interested again, Doctor!"
"Nurse! Whack his pee-pee!"
"Owwww!"
"Okay, Trixie! Give 'em another shake!"
According to the Web site for the facility, patients usually spend about six weeks in treatment. Sex addicts receive a variety of treatments, including group therapy,
"Whack all their pee-pees!"
"Owwww!"
"Owwww!"
"Owwww!"
"Owwww!"
"Owwww!"
cognitive behavior therapy and something called "shame reduction."
"I'm so ashamed!"
"Being a horn dog is nothing to be ashamed of, Tiger! Think of it as a treatable condition. And get your hand out of your pants. You'll go crazy."
As RadarOnline.com has previously reported, Woods has not been seen publicly since his infamous car accident in the early morning hours after Thanksgiving after an alleged altercation with his wife Elin after she discovered he was having an affair.
"Say! Ain't that Tiger Woods?"
"Naw. Tiger ain't got a cleft in his chin!"
Since the story first broke, Woods has been romantically linked to more than a dozen women.
"Let's get nekkid!"
"Oh, Tiger! You're so romantic!"
"So let's get linked!"