Police seeking owner of penis
Police in South Africa
Where else?
are trying to trace the owner of a severed penis which was found lying on the ground in a village.
"Hello? I'm calling about the severed doinker. I think it might be mine."
"Can you describe it, sir?" |
The penis, which was not attached to anybody, was found on the ground outside a house in the small village of Masoyi, in the Mpumalanga region of eastern South Africa.
"Whoa! What's that?"
"I dunno, but it's not attached to anybody!" |
The police were called by the man who found the penis, which was not his penis, last Friday morning.
| "Hello, police? Lookee here, there's a schlong lying in my back yard... No, it's not mine... Of course I checked!" |
According to local police Superintendent Benjamin Mtsholi Bhembe, the man saw an unusual object on the ground outside the house he was taking care of.
| "Hmmm... That's unusual." |
'On closer inspection, he realised that it was a man's private part,' said Bhembe.
| "Why, it looks like a pizzle!" |
Initial police investigations around the neighbourhood – which we imagine involved knocking on people's doors and asking ' have you lost your penis?' – proved unsuccessful. Authorities are urging the penis's owner to come forward. If you have lost you penis, you are advised to contact your nearest South African police station. |