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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Man’s testicles snared in a padlock for two weeks |
| 2005-08-08 |
| Ouch. BRENTWOOD - The "family jewels" of one Brentwood man recently were locked up for two weeks - literally. On Saturday, July 30, at about 3:40 a.m., Brentwood police assisted ambulance and rescue personnel with a 39-year-old man with a padlock on his testicles. Ummmmmm...say again, Unit 1? According to police, the man, who police are not identifying, was intoxicated when they arrived on scene. You would hope so... The man reported that the padlock had been on his testicles for two weeks. Cpl. H.D. Wood IV said the man reported that a friend put the lock on his testicles. He was allegedly severely intoxicated and passed out. He told police that when he woke up the padlock was placed around top his scrotum and his friend was gone. Hello? Yes. I'm drunk and my friend padlocked my balls two weeks ago. Think you can help me out? "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Wood said. That doesn't surprise me... The man reported to police that he allegedly attempted to remove the padlock with a hacksaw after the key broke off inside the lock. He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith was called to remove the lock. There's a story that'll keep the free beers coming to that locksmith for the rest of his life. The hospital reported that the man was treated and released without sustaining lasting injury. Hey, ya want the lock? You know, for a souvenier? The Brentwood Fire Department would not comment on the incident, citing patient confidentiality. But we'll remember the guy, believe you me... The motive for the incident is still undetermined, police said. But from now on, remember boys and girls... BOOZE AND PADLOCKS ARE A BAD COMBINATION! "At this point we are not sure if it was a prank, or if it was an intentional act, or something done during a sexual act," Wood said. Stick with the gerbils, boys... The incident is under investigation. ...because we don't have a choice. |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
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