 | I need to call Rummy. The Pentagon needs to drop everything and implement the midnight basketball league ASAP. |
Former Iraq football coach Bernd Stange said in an interview the United States could have done a lot of good in the war-torn country - if they had dropped metric footballs soccer balls instead of bombs. "I thought the Americans would perhaps send a plane with footballs and football shirts instead of bombs, but that never happened," the German Stange told Stern magazine in an interview made available ahead of Thursday's publication. Stange said that football was the "only sport that unites all Iraqis. The national team consisted of Sunnites, Shiites, a Christian and a Turkmene but that was not important at all," he said. Stange quit the Iraq job in July 2004 fearing for his personal safety in the unstable country. "I would have probably made myself immortal in Iraq football if we had qualified for the World Cup. But I would have likely not survived," said Stange, saying he had a lucky escape in an attack by masked men once during his reign there. | Masked men, you say? With weapons and Korans at the ready? I'm sure this was all some terrible mistake. You should have offered to let them take a penalty kick. |
| Proof positive that heading a soccer ball too many times causes brain damage. Just say "no" to soccer. Do it for the children. |
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