TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) - Florida's Legislature is flush with good ideas. Sen. Al Lawson's involves a 2 cent-per-roll tax on toilet paper to pay for wastewater treatment and help small towns upgrade their sewer systems.
Bathroom humor inappropriate...desired comment ommitted by BigEd
The Democratic1 lawmaker's pay-as-you-go bill has been the source of many jokes - bathroom humor you might say - but he says the issue is a serious one, especially in some of the fast-growing Panhandle coastal counties in his district.
Florida panhandle? - Go into Alabama or Georgia, and stock up!
"They're experiencing a tremendous boom in growth and they're not able to accommodate the growth," Lawson said. "We've got 17 million people in this state and all of them can contribute to protecting our underground water supply."
Protecting ground water supply is good. The idea suggested is idiotic. Perhaps an increase in the cost per cu ft of water used which is an actual expense of producing water? But since most Dems have sexual arousal over tax increases, this never occured to the State Senator.
In a Republican-dominated Legislature that doesn't like new taxes, the idea is likely to pretty quickly end up in the tank.
This idea is thankfully headed for the Toilet
Senate President Tom Lee, R-Brandon, said he didn't think it would get too far, but didn't rule it out.
"We'll be getting to the bottom2 of it real soon," Lee said. The House is skeptical as well. "We're not wild about tax increases," said House Speaker Allan Bense, R-Panama City. "But we'll certainly let it go through the system."
Thats's the whole problem. Especially if one is constipated like Sen. Lawson.
If it were to pass, the extra two pennies would start being charged in October. Lawson said it could generate $50 million a year. It would also need approval from Gov. Jeb Bush. He said that if toilet paper is taxed, people might use less of it. "That's not necessarily a good thing," noted the governor.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jeb!
And what about consumers? Wouldn't they be squeezed by a tax on the Charmin? No, says Lawson.
Everybody gets as turned on as Sen. Lawson about this tax.
"Two cents is not going to hurt families at all," he said. "This is one thing people don't mind paying for."
He said, as they placed him in the straight-jacket...
1Did anyone think otherwise?
2After all a sump has to be pumped out occasionally.