Vacancy Announcement

Position Title: Chief of Super-Secret Government Agency

Location: Washington, D.C. vicinity

Responsibilities:
The selectee will be responsible for management of a sprawling, super-secret government agency in pursuit of the War on Terror. The ideal candidate will have a dueling scar running through one or both eyes; have a liking for capes with high, stand-up collars; and cause underlings to quake in his presence. He or she will manage a diverse organization of thieves, cut-throats, assassins, women of shady virtue, con men, goldbrick salesmen, and soldiers of fortune. Responsibilities will include recruitment, training, promotion, and ruthless elimination of minions and henchmen; the design and procurement of secret weapons and formulae; and the production and execution of plots, counterplots, subplots and schemes. A knowledge of the working of wheels within wheels is desirable.

Duties will include, but not be limited to, undermining the culture and economies of small to medium-sized nations; conducting shadow wars against both nameless and named forces of evil; and overall subversion of large portions of the world.

A generous compensation package is offered.

To be considered, fax your resume to 212-555-1212, attention Mr. Rumsfeld, or mail it to

Unnamed Super-Secret Agency
Box X
Washington, D.C. 20001