In three weeks, millions of Americans will choose between neo-conservatism's foreign-policy-as-fulfilment the-Book-of-Revelations vision of the future and the pansy-ass internationalism of a progressively nutty Leftist establishment run by emasculated queers who watch art-house fag films like Before Sunset. For independent voters resistant to utopian ideology, as well as relentlessly immature Hollywood boy geniuses who make millions of dollars playing with construction-paper cutouts and speaking win funny voices, this election represents a stark dilemma: Nobody wants to waste his or her vote on a third-party candidate—especially when there's no fruitcake like Ross Perot who makes vote-wasting enjoyable. (Ralph Nader, though a fruitcake, is no longer enjoyable.) In fact, it's obvious to all that the big-government romantics on both sides of the Culture War have totally lost their minds.
Thank God for Team America: World Police, the marionette-o-vision Homeland Security drama from South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone opening nationwide October 15. This movie is more than just therapy for anyone who has missed nights of sleep trying to decide between Empire and Appeasement or allowed their girlfriends to drag them to see Before Sunset: It is a moral vision of America's future delivered by two of our nation's finest political thinkers. It also makes your breath fresh, your teeth whiter, and teaches children their multiplication tables. |