(2004-05-04) -- The United Nations Security Council today voted to threaten the use of force against the United States of America unless it could prove that U.S. troops have stopped abusing Iraqi prisoners in Abu Ghraib prison.

"Let it never be said that this world body stood idly by as prisoners were subjected to humiliation and injury," said former French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin (who is a man). "As the global defender of human rights, the U.N. is obligated to step in and protect the helpless innocents in Abu Ghraib."

Mr. de Villepin said the U.N. would assemble a multilateral coalition consisting of troops from every nation on earth, under French command, to ensure that the United States "verifiably complies with the letter and the spirit of the resolution."