Give me a fucking break. Hat tip LGF.
A letter purporting to come from Osama bin Laden’s al Qaeda network denied any role in Tuesday’s anti-Shi’ite Muslim explosions in Iraq and blamed the attacks that killed 185 people on the United States.
"Wudn’t us, it wud dem ajitaders."
The letter, signed by the Abu Hafs al-Masri Brigades with "al Qaeda" in parenthesis, was sent to the London-based al-Quds al-Arabi newspaper. A copy of the letter was obtained by Reuters Wednesday. The newspaper has previously received similar letters from the same brigade in which they claimed responsibility for a November bombing of two synagogues in Turkey and the August bombing of the U.N. headquarters in Baghdad. "U.S. troops have committed a massacre against the innocent Shi’ite people to set sectarianism ablaze among Iraq’s Muslims," the letter said.
"But I need their music businesses; my harp just broke a string."
"We, and with God as our witness, say we are innocent of this act and of anything that will drive the Shi’ites away. Our mujahideen (holy warriors) love God and his prophet and will not do anything that will harm the Iraqi people."
"Sorry about the bloodstains; my lips fell off when I said that."
Suicide bombers, mortars and concealed explosives killed at least 185 people and wounded more than 435 in Baghdad and Kerbala during the holy Shi’ite mourning period of Ashura. The attacks on the mass gatherings made Tuesday the bloodiest day since U.S. troops toppled Saddam Hussein in April. Iraq’s U.S.-appointed Governing Council blamed the blasts on Abu Musab Zarqawi, a Jordanian who Washington says works for al Qaeda and whom it accuses of trying to fuel chaos in Iraq. Some Shi’ite clerics said the attacks were the work of Sunni Muslim extremists who want to foment a civil war in Iraq, where Shi’ites are a majority. But in the letter, the Abu Hafs brigades said they only target "Crusader Americans and their lackeys, the Iraqi police."
"I can’t go boom because my legs just shrank."
"We also strike at the agents of America in the Council of Infidels (Governing Council) and all the other allies it uses to hit at the mujahideen," it added. The letter also called on the people of Iraq to wage war against their U.S. occupiers and urged them to keep away from areas frequented by the "infidels and apostates." |