Gulf News Online Edition. Does not appear to be intended as the Arab version of a ScrappleFace posting.
Palestinians have thrown a tight security cordon around President Yasser Arafat fearing his assassination by unconventional means that could be construed as "a natural death", highly misinformed sources told Gulf News yesterday.
| No death Yasser dies will be "natural"... |
The new security steps include searching and close monitoring of all Arafat’s visitors. The sources said that one speculated method of assassination could be the direction of poisonous rays towards Arafat’s brain.
Zionist Death Rays! Bwahahahahahahaaa!
These rays can cause palpitations in the heart leading to a failure of brain resulting in gradual stop in breathing and ultimate death.
The death ray was assembled by the IDF’s leading weapons research scientist, Dr. Zarkov, (that’s a Jewish name, isn’t it?) in his secret fortress in the Negev Desert, and smuggled into the West Bank in a crate of Jewish Barbie dolls! Bwahahahahahahaaa!
"It is only curable by a specific antidote as in the bungled assassination of Khaled Mashal the head of Hamas political bureau in Jordan several years ago," the sources said.
| The story about it having been poison is obviously made up, along with the details of the chase and the Clinton involvement in getting Sheikh Yassin freed... |
Meanwhile, sources in the Islamic group Hamas, said that Dr Rantissi and other leaders have recently refused to give interviews to foreign television channels, especially after the failed assassination of Al Rantissi and the Israeli intention to assassinate the entire Hamas leadership. "There are fears that the Mashal assassination attempt will be repeated on other leaders by a device emitting poisonous rays embedded in a video camera," the sources explained.
Or we could use a satellite- or wire-guided device emitting lethal overpressure and shrapnel from an intense chemical reaction--fired by a nefarious, super-secret black helicopter or UFO. Bwahahahahahaaa!
Israeli Defence Minister Shaul Mofaz has revealed to his inner circle that the expulsion of President Arafat is the least the Israeli political leadership can approve, and that they should not rule out physical liquidation.
(Well, at least they got one thing correct.) |