 [DONSURBER.SUBSTACK] The internal polling on Dark Brandon’s state-of-the-union speech must be horrible because Democrats and their deep-state go-fers in the media quickly changed the subject. First, they tried to make the story about Republican Katie Britt’s Karen-in-the-kitchen response to Biden’s speech, but no one outside DC cares about these responses.
I have multiple granddaughters, eight of them in fact. Maybe it's nine. Sometimes I lose track. Two or three of them are certifiable geniuses. Two have trendy but stupid ideas about sex. One of the eight is a twit. Katie's voice sounded just like the twit's (I do love her, but still.) I'm not sure if I turned Katie off, or Katie just turned me off.
Then Biden said he threatened Netanyahu with a come-to-Jesus moment.
Phrasing even dumber than Katie's.
Bibi did not take Biden serious and no one else did.
Who does? Has anyone ever, except in Delaware, which consists of beaches, farms, and Wilmington.
| They did in Ukraine, back when he was VP… |
I mean, what was Biden going to do? Make Bibi eat a ham sandwich?
Joe needs to have a come-to-Moses moment, but he's rapidly running out of time and the Red Sea is grumbling.
With the Ukraine war wearing out its welcome, the only diversion left was the uncivil war in Haiti. Suddenly riots in its capital became the most important story in the world!
Ukraina is a match between two pugs who used to be Great (Powers) and should both be looking closely at their pension plans. Da Russian pug longs for the days when he could have been Leonid Brezhnev without the stroke or the vodka, at least not too much of it.
We are sending troops to Port-au-Prince, something we failed to do to Minneapolis, Seattle and Portland four years ago. Apparently it is OK to give rioters in Baltimore space, but not in Haiti.
Dey're tawkin' about da pug dat's makes really good military hardware much of da time, but nobody can afford, to include us.
Haiti has replaced Ukraine as the 51st state, just like Dick Sargent replaced Dick York as Darrin on Bewitched. There was no discussion and no explanation. How important is Haiti now? The New York Times pulled down its paywall to report the story.
Haiti is in our sphere of influence, according to President Monroe and his Doctrine. He was born in 1758, which would make him 266 come April 28th. Joe's not quite that old, but he's pushing it for a guy who's still using up oxygen, no doubt contributing heavily to global warming or climate change or nuclear winter, whatever it is this week.
NYT said, “Secretary of State Antony J. Blinken
The guitar player who secretaries our state when not playing gigs at the VFW or the roller rink.
announced Monday that the United States would provide an additional $100 million in aid toward a United Nations-backed multinational security mission planned to deploy to Haiti, which has been overrun by gang violence.
We citizens should all get together and eat somebody. Maybe they'd give the Burg a hundred mil and we wouldn't have to have another bleg until I'm James Monroe's age.
“He also pledged an additional $33 million in humanitarian aid, bringing the U.S. commitments to $333 million.”
Wade-a-minnit! Great boils of fire! Blinken or possibly Nod musta calculated that on his guitar. My watch tells me that $110m + $33m comes out to $133m $143m, not $333m. I double checked that on my electric heater and it looks like good math, if not higher.
That’s awful nice of him to dig in his wallet and give Haiti all that money. I am being sarcastic. Don’t fact-check me, bro.
 Pish! Take your shoes off and do the math again.
The money for Haiti is in millions not billions because to Democrats Haitians are just black people while Ukrainians are white. I believe in racial equality and say no money for either country.
I'm in favor of spending money on both. If the Soviet pug wins in Ukraina,then his next step will be to take someplace nobody's heard of to let the hackles relax before going for Bulgaria or Poland. Say goodbye to Moldova. Betcha Orban'll be surprised when that happens. Not that we didn't keep telling the Ukes the post-mortem Soviets were gonna invade, come a couple springs ago. Remember? The Ukes kept telling us to mind our own damned business.
Just who the money goes to is unclear. Haiti’s prime minister, Ariel Henry, fled to Kenya and is now in Puerto Rico to escape the violence.
 How Haiti must be longing for the relative stability they had with Papa Doc and Baby Doc! There was a lot to be said for the Tontons Macoutes.
NYT said, “Leaders from Caribbean nations are leading a push to create a transitional council, meant to pave the way for the election of a new president and help restore stability to Haiti.
Papa Doc was Haiti's stability. There's nothing else to restore.
“Jamaican officials said that a proposal for Haiti was still coming together and discussions were continuing, but no plan had been finalized as of Monday.
"Pass de ganja, mon! I tryin' to think, but nuthin's happ'nin'!"
“With the government on the verge of collapse,
Actually the verge is in the rear view mirror and looking smaller.
the United States and Caribbean nations are working to come up with a resolution that would restore some order to the troubled nation.”
Nice one! Catch the difference between a "resolution" and "solution?"
Why is this our problem?
It's a shithole created by colored guys who don't speak English for colored people who don't speak English.
Hillary raised a lot of money for Haiti. Surely, she did not use the money to fund her 2016 presidential campaign.
Certainary not! A politician? An American politician? Do that? Oh, nevair ma frien', as they would say in Port-au-Prince.
Maybe she did. Trump said in 2016, “I was at a Little Haiti the other day in Florida. And I want to tell you, they hate the Clintons, because what’s happened in Haiti with the Clinton Foundation is a disgrace.”
 Contribute to the Rantburg Foundation. I promise to piss it away on beer and ardent spirits!
I never understood why Haitian politics — as fiery as they are — are any of our concern. Ever since Haitians overthrew France 220 years ago, Haiti has been a shithole. Why pretend it magically is worth saving now?
It's very simple, really. Two little words: Miami welfare.
Well, we must change the subject to save FJB. Plus there may be some cannibalism involved. Or it may be propaganda. The Hindustan Times tried to tackle the issue.
They said it actually happened a coupla years ago.
The paper said, “Amid escalating gang violence in Haiti, a disturbing video has surfaced on social media, showing an alleged gang member engaging in cannibalism. ‘Disturbing footage of the Haitian cannibal gang eating body parts of one of their victims as he cooks in the fire,’ an Instagram post reads. The same video has been shared across other social media platforms, including X.
Biting someone else's nails?
“The video shows a man chewing on something that looks like a human finger. He then proceeds to tear flesh out of the leg of a person seen burning.
Which was the greater atrocity? Setting fire to him in the first place? Or gnawing his leg?
“The video has not been independently verified by any news agency. However, according to Times Now, agencies on social media have revealed that the video is two years old and has nothing to do with the current unrest.”
 Cheeze! Two years ago? Howzat relevant? Except for the fact that they're still doing it!
You know you are in a shithole if you have to figure out when the cannibalistic act depicted in a video occurred. Was it the 2022 shindig or the one in 2024?
"Hey, mon! You seen mon oncle lately?"
"Last I saw, him and a couple tontons macoutes wuz lookin' for some Sweet Baby Ray's!"
The story may be propaganda, but from which side? Gang leader Jimmy Cherizier calls himself Barbecue. That gains him respect among this allies and fear among his adversaries.
You betcha. He gained lots respect when he started filing his teeth!
Then again, this may be anti-Cherizier propaganda. Who knows and who cares? This is none of our business. Unlike Cuba, no one has ever used Haiti as a missile base to threaten America.
But still, President Monroe woulda come down on them with both neatly stockinged feet.
Brian Concannon of the lefty Common Dreams outlet, agrees and wrote, “Haiti’s deepening crisis — armed groups launching an assault on the government, and the de facto prime minister on indefinite layover in the San Juan, Puerto Rico, airport — is a predictable consequence of 14 years of U.S. support for undemocratic regimes connected to Haiti’s PHTK party as it has dismantled Haiti’s democracy.
 "Hey, Marcel! You spell 'democracy' widda 'o' or a 'au?'"
"Jean-Pierre, you know I can't spell! Dey don't teach dat at Hillary Clintaun Elementary!"
“Haiti has a chance at reversing this descent and returning to a more stable, democratic path, but only if the Biden administration will let it.”
Haiti got no chance at all, mon! But the Dominican Republic does, if we actually do something.
However, this does have the markings of deep-state interference.
"Actually doing something" would involve two battalions of Marines and an order to "Please form a line so you can be executed in an orderly manner!"
Concannon wrote, “Prime Minister Henry has not yet resigned,
Does it matter if he wasn't elected in the first place?
and the State Department denied reports that it demanded his resignation. But Henry has clearly lost the support of the United States, which for two years had allowed him to resist Haitians demands for fair elections. Absent Washington’s support, Henry has little chance of regaining power.”
On the other hand, he has a real good chance of getting barbecued.
“This dire situation is not only predictable, it was predicted.
 I predicted this in 1942, and I hadn't even been born yet. I hadn't been thought of. Simple enough even for my pre-embryonic mind.
Haitian-American officials, Haitian civil society, members of the U.S. Congress, and other experts had been warning for years that the U.S. propping up Henry would lead to increasing tragedy for Haitians. The United States, which installed Henry in power in the first place, ignored these pleas and stood resolutely by its friend. With U.S. support, Henry’s unconstitutional term as prime minister exceeded any other prime minister’s term under Haiti’s 1987 Constitution. Levels of gang violence, kidnapping, hunger, and misery also reached unprecedented levels.”
Ah! Sentences! I like sentences. They describe things. Not reality in this case. but things.
The State Department’s official line on Haiti seems to back Concannon’s conclusion that we butted in.
"Marines! Ready! Aim! Kill everybody you see!"
It said, “When Haiti is more prosperous, secure, and firmly rooted in democracy, Haitians and Americans benefit. U.S. policy toward this close neighbor is designed to foster the institutions and infrastructure necessary to achieve strong democratic foundations and meaningful poverty reduction through sustainable development.
When I'm two inches taller, and my hair's grown back blond, and I'm irresistible to women, I'm gonna move to Port-au-Prince. They're both gonna happen at the same time.
“The United States provides substantial humanitarian assistance so the most vulnerable Haitians can better meet their basic needs in health and nutrition. Assistance for long-term development and institution building is another pillar of U.S.-Haiti bilateral cooperation.
Long term development and institution building have somehow avoided happening for the past 220 years. What are the chances they'll start now?
“Priority areas include support for economic growth and poverty reduction, improved healthcare and food security, promoting respect for human rights, building stronger democratic institutions, and strengthening the Haitian National Police (tonton macoutes HNP) so that Haiti provides its own security and can be a stronger partner against international crime.”
Who the hell writes that shit scheisse merda govno stuff?
Maybe Haitians are better off being run by cannibals than some Biden-like puppet of the American deep-state.
Eat the puppets!
But I really don’t care about Haiti.
He's not Haitian.
I would rather have our government stop the violence and looting in New York City and other Democrat-run cities that are deteriorating into shitholes.
Tonton macoutes in five... four... three...
Maybe we can work out a trade with Haiti. We give them Biden and they give us this Barbecue guy and we sic him on the street gangs of Chicago. He could single-handedly end hunger in his home country. Sure, that would make Kamala president for a while but her speeches in which she is a 10-year-old explaining things to a 5-year-old are priceless and entertaining.
Priceless and entertaining = incoherent
What’s not priceless is the $333 million we just promised to send Haiti so that Democrats can change subjects from FJB shouting like a madman before the whole country. That’s the real state of the union. Our government is run by an angry old fool who has nukes that he is willing to use on his own people.
|
[NYPOST] One of the most 
[CLICKORLANDO] A 16-year-old boy is accused of shooting 10 people at an event venue near Sanford early Sunday, according to the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office.
[Daily Mail, where America gets its news] 
[AFRICANEWS] The curfew in Ouest, one of Haiti's ten departments has been extended until March 23, authorities said Wednesday (Mar. 20).
[Algemeiner] Hezbollah leader 
[AFRICANEWS] Palestinians began fasting for Ramadan on Monday as the Muslim holy month arrived with cease-fire talks at a standstill, hunger worsening across the Gaza Strip and no end in sight to the five-month-old Israel's war on Gaza.
[AFRICANEWS] Nigerian authorities have issued a wanted notice for former beauty queen